9/11 was an inside job.

"I beg to differ. The perfect friendship is one in which you relentlessly hurl homophobic and racial slurs at your friend, while at the same time verbally depicting graphic rape fantasies involving his sister."

That was nice of Dwight Howard.

But she really did meet Greg Oden

"...rich and white already"

Actually, if you know Torin's story, you know his parents were both laid off during the recession, they had financial difficulty as a family, and Torin's success at the X Games and jump to the pro level was to help his family put food on the table. Don't let stereotypes fool you.

Michael Sam has 2 siblings that were murdered, 1 disappear and declared dead and 2 in prison. I'd be inclined to do the opposite of whatever the hell dad Sam Sr. says.

To make matters even worse for Sam Sr., a Denny's waiter then showed up at his table with a plate of food.

I guess you can say all those hopelessly mismatched players...

And Michael still insists on living 3,000 miles away from this woman?

Mentioning your wife while she mentions her boyfriend negates both of those things. Don't you understand flirting???

White people look the same.

Thug.

Daaaamn, dude! All I did was eat shit after a local news lady asked us some pandering questions while we were out running in the snow. Didn't realize my on-camera awkwardness and subsequent spill warranted such an epically fucked up fate. Can't imagine what's in store for anyone who actually takes themselves (or…

Actually, brains exist to prevent situations like this.

The cabbie isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer either. Did he really think this chick had a grand sitting around for him? Please.

I'm not convinced that's Rod Stewart. Not that I don't trust Pacman's judgment, of course, but he may have gotten that one wrong.

Strange. He usually enters the offensive zone with ease.