I can see arguments both ways. Devil’s advocate to that is whether the kids should have same standard of living as they would if living with him.

Honestly characterizing this view as “prostitution” is pretty offensive to prostitutes. It’s a view in which every single woman is a prostitute and instead of treating them with human decency you just have to find out their price.

Nobody loves ripping on the Sixers more than me, but this sounds like a pretty decent way to handle the Embiid dilemma. If he gives 80% of what he’s capable, the contract is a bargain. If he is forced to have his leg amputated, they aren’t completely wrecked. I’m not used to saying this, but good job Philadelphia.

Preach, Alex. If you’ve never gotten one kid to false start on the green duck, just to have him knock down the actual gray duck, you haven’t played the game.

In response to questions one and two, why do you hate America?

Jeez if he was white, he’d have a TLC show and be an Arkansas state senator.

The couple, who tied the knot in November 2008

“Current Craig needs a million dollars to pay back Investor A. Paying back Investor B is a problem for Future Craig.”

Albert Pujols was once as beloved as almost any player ever by his hometown fans, well on his way to being the defining player of his generation. Now he’s almost forgotten, washed up, and being forced to watch himself get surpassed by an even better player on a nightly basis, on a (still) shitty team.

You can’t get sued for defamation for reporting what Tig Notaro said.

*Wyoming Courtroom, Preliminary Hearing* 

Hell is a Redstone in the western suburbs, where you are endlessly tortured by drunken cougars and sad stepdads for eternity.

The Sixers are so bad they didn’t even make the Eastern Conference Finals the year they made the Finals.

Or, as we ladies read that, “currently unemployed”.

My idiot friends and I wouldn’t have made it through an hour of this before going double agent on each other and driving away while the dunk dude is left alone in the driveway. We were sort of dicks. Also, none of us could dunk.

FFWD to 2045: “I really think today, in our time of crisis, is the day where Josh Paul transitioned from Candidate Paul to President Paul.”

I always calculate the tip to come up with a whole dollar total, so I can tell if I’m OK to drive. Can’t do the math - can’t turn the key.

That’s some impressive dad reflexes and strength by J.T. Snow.

Right but those are not the droids he was looking for. Those are neat and all, but don’t give an example of X when someone asks for Y and then accuse them of being a doofus.