Well guess what man all I'm ever trying to do is save my hometown, too, so you're a real jerk.

I always would get a stomach ache after drinking coconut water, so I stopped. Now I drink papaya-acai-goat-urine Extreeem Bro Mix 3000 and I've never felt better, except for occasional anal leakage and severe bouts of depression.

Yeah, totally. Except the part about Chinese, real instead of a toy, no cars, and square. Other than that, bang on.

FedEx Field doesn't give two f's.

I think this rule is a holdover from when internet connections were slow and cashiers could math better. Now card swiping is super fast and cashiers can't count; worse, they can't hand you money properly. You get paper bills then coins on top. Great, now I have to dump the coins off to put the bills in my wallet, then…

Wouldn't it be dried grapes? A dried raisin seems really dry.

Durant: So, Biebs, you want bloodies or mimosas?

There must be quite a few, there's a huge japanese population in Brazil. Ronaldo probably wanted it to be in english.

Ronaldo is European. In Europe, they use a comma for decimals. So it means a 1.00 yard stare.

Because there aren't many and Ronaldo knows English very well. He doesn't speak it the best as his accent is heavy (it was better but spending time in Madrid has added to it), but he spent almost 10 years in Manchester and still does most interviews outside of Spain in English. Plus he's been trying to grow his…

You are the king of the written sentence!

I think he just likes presidents who are named after airports.

wait wait wait... someone took a Bible verse out of context to support their argument?

It's nice to finally see the wife of a Raven drag their husband into something for once.

they made a couple of Prefontaine movies that didn't exactly end on an up note.

I know the Cavs want to hold onto wiggins, but wouldn't they be absolutely delighted if he turned into a top 10 NBA player in a couple years?

The same applies to soccer, hockey, and rugby fans.

Have you seen his 75" OLED curved 4K screen!?

That one lady right there.

I hope you don't have any daughters, because if you do, getting told which girl they are would have been suuuuper unpleasant for them.