People just don’t understand how hard it is to be a boring white person. Our struggle is great.

I don’t have much to add to this, my mom was really chill and all “kids just need to learn for themselves” so we didn’t have that rule in my house. My dad however, decided I was shaving my legs all wrong because I kept getting nicked, and one day say me down and decided he was going to teach me to shave my legs. My…

Why doesn’t anyone remember that John Stamos facilitated a rape?

Maybe you should sit down for this...

This is great news. I’ve been dying for more specific details about this relationship for years, and I will gladly pay money to hear more about it because I’m a nosy bitch.

But must they be worn on the feet? Wear them around your neck, like the burden they are.

What has five hands and is that conflicted?

It’s just like 8 shopping carts of Salon Selectives.

I’m Hard of Hearing, and Starbucks is a huge fucking nightmare for me. Usually I’ll go to a really small one that is the third Starbucks in a 500 foot radius so it’s not busy at all, but a few weeks ago I went to the biggest, busiest one because it was on my way to work. When I got up to the counter to pay, I couldn’t…

I also had a run-in with Jared Leto but it was in Des Moines, IA over 10 years ago. 30 Seconds to Mars was in town, and my boyfriend and I were walking around the mall. I saw this guy that looked super familiar so I was staring. He looks at me and says “I’m Jared Leto” and walked away. I still can’t tell if he was…

I got one about the time my uncle was a dick to a celebrity! My uncle was doing computer shit in Olivier Sarkozy’s office. He noticed a picture in Sarkozy’s office and told him his daughter looked like one of the Olsen twins.

Dan Hedaya is a friend of my family’s, and he’s actually an incredibly sweet and down to earth guy. This was probably after he’d had his heart broken by Meredith Baxter. She was the love of his life. They dated for years until she finally came out as a lesbian.

Maybe because she’s been asked the same questions about her race and gender enough that she’s tired of them? She probably wants to just be considered on the merits of whether she’s funny or not (as would be accorded to any white, male comedian), rather than have to be the Curry Girl Poster Child?

“I gave a girl fifty dollars and asked her to suck my dick. She said no. I should have asked about the dick sucking first.”

Wow, considering how much you typed, I expected A LOT worse than that.

It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…

Jon Stewart once backed away from me slowly.

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.

Your whole post just makes me really sad for you.

this sickens me. but, it isn't at all hard to believe.