Wow. Jokes aside, this is absolutely fucking insane.

What does this photo of a nice lesbian couple have to do with the original comment?

I have one of those alarm clocks that projects the time onto the ceiling, which I love. If it could project that gif onto the ceiling as an alarm. I would do everything in my power to get that alarm clock elected into the senate of the United States of America.

He statement is truly amazing. She is trying to play the victim. Now I hope they find some hard evidence of her covering it up.

From Lou Anna Simon’s Wikipedia page:

Guess “this Nassar thing” was finally important enough to merit some attention from the MSU higher-ups.

I certainly hope the Board held an exhaustive, 10-minute conversation about her resignation before moving on to other important business on the agenda, like whether they should hold her retirement party in Vegas, Monte Carlo, or Macau.

I assume we can look forward to Penn State erecting a statue in honor of Simon soon.

The fact that all it took for this to happen, after months of no accountability, was Nassar being the number one sports story for even a single day really puts in perspective just how undercovered it’s been.

And the board?

Let’s be clear, this arrogant fuck didn’t do it out of any sense of responsibility. Someone or someones who have what the Trustees and Simon only care about, money, must have finally spoken.

Considering Penn State is business as usual right now, I don’t think shit is actually going to happen. Great optics bro!

OH GOOD AFTER A WEEK OF HORROR STORIES ABOUT DECADES OF ABUSE THE NCAA IS GOING TO LOOK INTO IT! THANKS GUYS! YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB!

The Bucketheads

I don’t know what I did but later a lawyer gave me a check for $130,000.

• WAS AT FRIEND’S HOUSE AND SOMEONE THREW A SHOE AT HIS TESTICLES

Barry’s mom:

Shut up, nerd. I’m going to get blacked out and start 2018 off how I came into the world. Emerging from a black void, crying, confused, hungry and looking for a titty to suck to make me feel better.

This entire Bears staff will be looking for gigs elsewhere in 24 hours. The Special Teams coach just got himself hired on another team