Was he a Jets fan when he was seven?

A fat NFL player punched a fat ex-NFL player.

Front Row (L to R): 1/20000, 2/20000, 3/20000, 4/20000, 5/20000, 6/20000, 7/20000, 8/20000, 9/20000, 10/20000, 11/20000, 12/20000, 13/20000, 14/20000

The best was Girardi calling Dempster a pussy.

"Looks like this troll's..."
[takes off sunglasses]
"...on ice."
(YEEAA-)
[slips on ice, cracks head open like a melon on ice, oh the blood, oh my god the blood, so much blood and brains and vein tissue everywhere, Jesus Christ there are children here, oh his eyes - HIS EYES - one is looking right at me, oh dear sweet…

Why is there a promo for the new Michael J. Fox show in the comments?

I'd just like to point out that MattinglysSideburns, ClintonPortishead, and UweBollocks all commented today, and a few other old-timers showed up in the past few days with great jokes. It's been a damn good week.

Today in songs to blow out your car speakers to:

I can't wait for the day until I'm out of the grey from the get go.

Don't give in, don't drink, don't think just one won't set you back.

My attempt to appease the interwebs with their unheard calls.

Stephen A. Smith, such as he is, confirmed that Howard is headed for Houston.

The Rockets are snapping up overrated, unlikable, pseudo big name players that sound good on paper and look great for ESPN headlines and buzz but will be a complete failure as a team.

I'm only half-serious. The Decision was masturbatory and awful to watch—yes, it raised money for charity, OK, still—but at least it was a confirmed, final choice by LeBron. I'm not saying Dwight Howard should have done that; he'd make Jim Gray laugh at all his poop jokes, and we'd all hate everything even more. But…

In what way is this worse than the Decision? Sure, Dwight Howard is a prima donna, but this is nowhere near as bad as demanding a prime-time television special to announce what team you're joining.

That's right, a sheet of people. Nobody wanted to question her about it because she was 'bout screwed up as a soup sandwich.

She carried a sheet of people?!

They condone through law and custom the gun murders of 11,000 Americans a year, many of whom are killed en masse at schools by insane people