Oh man, I haven't seen a kid crush a homer like this since DON'T FORGET TO WATCH THE SIMPSONS EVERY EPISODE EVER MARATHON STARTING AUGUST 21 ON FXX [self destructs]

Good to see positive steps taken by Oklahoma. I mean, these athletes have to learn that you can't just go around hitting women that aren't your wife or girlfriend.

Unfortunately, this is a result of Panik having incredibly good manners. His mother taught him to always keep his pinkie out while having a cup of coffee.

War Machine looks like a crazy ass dude. I mean, I'm positive he puts ranch dressing on his pizza. But he looks so insane that I could also see him putting it on his cauliflower.

A Norman restaurant??? Oh my gosh are we really gonna start looking into peoples' pasts to find out what they did 900 years ago??? SMDH.

If these bears are smart, they'll haul ass through Serbia and up to Croatia to try and get roles as extras on Game of Thrones.

Wow. Pretty sensationalist "journalism" here. This is endorsed by the NFL, guys. Steve Smith takes your lunch box, juice box, and sandwich, and replaces it with a kale, quinoa, and grilled free range organic chicken breast salad as part of the NFL's Play 60 campaign to encourage healthy eating. And then he knocks it…

Trey gets way more chicks than anybody on the team because girls his age don't generally go past first base.

Are these puppies hanging out in the trunk of a car? Is the bunny constantly trapped in the trunk of the car? Are the terriers being raised to hunt and kill rabbits? Are they being trained to hate the sight of rabbits because it reminds them of being locked in the trunk of a car, thereby making them more effective…

Like the Raptors really give a shit about a $25,000 fine. That $25k will prove to have been money well spent when KD signs with them because of this chant and they go on to win three championships in a row.

Meanwhile, Brian Wilson also said a tearful goodbye to the NFL before he was kidnapped, propped up on a piano, and forced to play "Good Vibrations" for the fifth time this week.

What kind of world are we living in where 2 billion don't even matter although I guess it makes sense cuz their r 2 billion Christians and no one cares about us n-e-more and they taken G*d out of schools and barack HUSSEIN Obama has destroyed the constitution

Hearing this news, Jason Whitlock has also decided to cut carbs. But he's really just eating pizza with a fork and knife.

Probably just means he looks like a dick because he's all red and veiny.

Tony really has egg on his face as a result of this statement. Because it was made from a Denny's at 3 am.

If you ask me, it was kind of racist of Royals fans to assume that he would want to come during the dog days of August.

Unlike Boesch, a fan in the way of a flying bat actually has a legitimate chance of becoming an Angel.

Jackson was immediately placed on the 15-day DL with a separated shoulder caused by hella hard bro-hugs.

I don't understand the kids today with all their fancy gizmos and whirligigs. Why, in my day, we already had the perfect lickin' machine, and his name was Rocky Graziano.

This Connor Drinan kid obviously isn't even very good at poker. I figured out his tell just by watching this video. If you watch closely, you can see that he hangs his head in a moment of paralyzing shock and fear, and a wave of nausea washes over him and he looks like he's going to die at that very instant. From that…