God damn, Alvarez is lucky the U.S. has a trade embargo with Cuba. Those Loisville Sludger bats just don't hit quite as hard.

Great cross-promotion opportunity here as, perhaps, "going Airborne" is what kept her from having a major Emergen-C.

+1

ummmmmmmmmmm.... isnt it a little RACIST of you to assume that just cause this kid lives in rio di janeiro that he is poor and also has no father????

Well then maybe you should read it in the way that you know I wrote it.

I also recently learned the tough lesson that spending extra money doesn't always lead to the desired results. My wife declared a "red alert" while on the way to our Valentine's Day dinner.

These Olympic athletes are so strong. I can't imagine what it's like to have known someone that has died.

Man, if Kenworthy escapes with the puppies, I can just see Putin now, furious and screaming at the Tsar of Dog-Killing, forcing him to listen to the Baha Men over and over and over while slowly attaching jumper cables to the man's nipples.

Terrible choice of nickname. His teammates are really going to resent him the first time they hear that he's in the house.

Yes, actually. I was. We're a buncha jokesters round here.

That's smart of him never to smile in pictures. He's doing a great job at not running afoul of Russia's anti-gay laws.

Well, that is definitely not a sour Kraut.

+1

This is the problem with hosting the Olympics in a warmer climate. In the rest of Russia, these puppies would have just frozen to death, and Gus wouldn't have to snuggle them to death with smoochie-woochies.

Finally, George isn't the only one having his face rubbed in urine on the carpet.

+1

Well, he's got a problem with urgency of urination, but at least he probably got a prostate exam out of the deal.

Not too surprising that the Russians are trying to stop a man from doing more than going back-to-back.

Everything he does pisses off a ton of nerds. This dude is the George Lucas of fantasy sports.

These two have such a good relationship that, not only are they brothers, but they're also DTF: Dutch twin friends.