You've really gotta be careful what beer you use when playing this game. It's totally ruined if the cups are filled with Natty Ice.

+1

Then he screamed at the first man, "THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA BE."

Good for James for putting a stop to this. If there's anything I've learned from reading Deadspin, it's that JDs are constantly getting screwed.

-1 for not catching that it should have said, "AN UGLY SWEATER PARTY," and not, "A UGLY SWEATER PARTY."

Oh, not this again. I haven't heard of anyone trying to poach a player since Ryne Sandberg retired.

.

Yearning for irony

The kid also got a picture with AJ McCarron. Look at the ridiculous sweatshirt AJ's wearing. That's gotta be the dumbest shit he's ever put on his chest.

IF THEY WERE HAVING A UGLY SWEATER PARTY THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST WORN THERE JERSEYS!!!1

You idiot. +1

Further proof that there is no god: dude with banker's shirt, cuff links, and terrible suit is alive and well.

Looks like someone's been dashing through the snow.

Shame on you, Billy. Just because you have a great tan, you think you can write racist articles???

Who is that reporter? For once, #3 in pinstripes is not the Babe.

victims of the illegal eavesdropping, including University of Hawaii Coach Norm Chow, Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier and San Diego Chargers Offensive Coordinator Ken Whisenhunt

Umm, hi. You might be new here, but we try to make jokes on Deadspin. This is not a literary criticism website.

If she wants to see the game played in the cold with thousands of shivering fans that are nearly frozen to death, but no snow or rain, they should host it in LA right now. IT'S 50 DEGREES, GOD DAMMIT!!!!

Hopefully Tommy is kinda like me. I wear my jeans 5-6 times, then burn them so the poor can never have nice things.

Okay, maybe they're going a little too far with this "Mariners" theme. I can see why their personnel would have trouble adapting.