[Redacted for being too stupid.]

+1

"tl;dr"

Maybe no one shows up because the teams are bad at baseball not because of who the owner is did you think of that huh??????

Friends with (improper) benefits.

Looks like this guy's entire life is built around using rails to try and make people like him.

Steve Im sick of all this liberal hippy crap. If your not doing anything wrong, you got nothin to worry about!!!!!! These colors don't run!

Definitely didn't expect a Steeler to be the victim of a robbery.

Looks like we can add this incident to the ever-growing list of times that Manny should have been forced out but wasn't.

I've been to this place. I saw the challenge on Man Vs. Food, so I ate a version of that same omelette, but with only four eggs, and only one biscuit. I couldn't finish the biscuit because it was so dry and dense. I've gotta admit, I felt like a real loser when I gave up. The only positive part of my experience was…

Damn. Emma, you are an awesome writer. Keep up the good work.

I always knew that someday I'd see my alma mater on Deadspin. I just assumed it would be when "being a smelly asshole" became the most popular sport in the world.

I'm not surprised by the decrease in popularity of the Great West Conference. The brand has really been damaged by Kanye using the name for every meeting he has.

Don't spoil it for us west coasters!

+1

Although they're not actually bullfighters, I'm sure the dancing of these Matadors results in a lot of tore-rears.

So, let me get this straight. You go in, you want to do something (buy juice), it says you can do something, you try to do it and it doesn't work (because they don't actually sell juice). Then you try to do another thing (buy another product), but it's so damn complicated and confusing that nobody has actually done it…

Man, I saw Baron Davis a couple months ago. He was rolling around Disneyland in a rascal scooter. I had to do a quadruple take when he flew past me.

I have a Sig Mosquito. They're basically the same.

Nice. My first celebrity sighting at a work lunch was actually Scarface from Half Baked. I was freaking out and no one I was with had a clue what I was talking about.