you don't have to worry about me jumping off a ledge or driving my car off a cliff

Hey, guys. I mean, I know I'm not the best, but do you really need to write an article about me? And how'd you know that I've been really sad lately?

Next time on NFL Roundtable: Kyle Williams - Hey, Footballs Are Shaped Weird. They're Hard to Hold!

Nah, I like my theory better. Nice try, though.

I assumed it was something about Brek Shea, and he just spelled it wrong. But it doesn't look like there are any other soccer words in there.

Ha! That would be the highlight of my day too. I definitely know what all that stuff means.

o so thats bad but making fun of jo paterno who died is ok/????!?!?

Maybe you gotta pull up that Colorado Razor Blade grass?

Sitting around on a Saturday night waiting for an old guy to die? It's starting to feel like Summer already.

Watching spiders work is seriously amazing. As long as they're doing it outside and/or in a place that I can be far away from if I want to be.

I was looking at the exit poll breakdown. Pretty interesting stuff in there. People with postgraduate degrees and people who make over $200K a year overwhelmingly voted for Romney. And young folks love Ron Paul, which is not surprising.

Vodka and Hi-C is for babies. I go tequila and Capri Sun.

It's Saturday, bro. Some of us have lives. Definitely not me, but I'm sure some of us do.

Damn, dude. That is a mega bummer. My experience has always been the exact opposite. Hence my motto, "Streep gets you in deep!"

Yeah, I got my girlfriend into gaming, but it's tough to get new people into it. Another good one for easing people into more complex games is Pandemic, if you haven't tried that. Really fun co-op game that can be insanely difficult if you want it to be. I tried to get some non-gamers to play Puerto Rico with me, and…

I just got out of school, and things are seriously messed up in the legal job market. Almost none of my friends are employed, and those that are aren't making near what they expected to. I've been asked those same types of questions a lot, and I just try to make sure that they're totally aware of what they're getting…

Hickey's leaving to take over for Maury.

Giant cops?! Count me in!

+1

I've also been cockblocked by gum. Don't believe everything you read. Bazooka Joe is NOT a good substitute for a Today Sponge in a pinch.