Wow. That really makes me look like an asshole. That story is not nearly as funny.

Wow. That is beyond awesome. That's pretty much exactly the kind of story I was hoping for.

Seeing your hometown in the news DUAN

Ha!

Oh my god. Brian Wilson telling Karros he has "immaculate hair" is the highlight of the night, by far.

As someone who does that, I'm gonna defend this lady. If you're gonna take a picture on your phone, it takes literally one extra second to post it to facebook. And we people who do that stupidly think that our friends care what we're doing.

This has always blown my mind. For me, facebook is only for talking about bullshit. 90% of what I post is about how much I hate Mike Scioscia. Why people would put seriously personal business on there is beyond me.

I don't mind taking a seat occasionally. It's kind of refreshing. I say stick with what's working for you.

How about, "back back back GONE!"

So I think they're trying to convince us that we're supposed to watch the X Factor because Simon Cowell drives a Veyron. Good advertising campaign.

I laughed way way way too hard at this, man.

I didn't start watching Lost until it was already over. I made it through the whole series in about a month. I was ready to be disappointed by the ending. And, boy was I. Every once in a while I think that I want to rewatch the series because I'll understand more or whatever. Then I remember that there's nothing to…

I will be incapable of being polite. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't have to get my car smogged. But I do. Don't really have time to do that considering I've got a pretty important test coming up in two weeks.

I got my registration renewal notice from the California DMV in the mail today. My registration is due July 2. Nine days ago. They want to charge me an extra forty dollars for making a late payment. I do not want to pay this. Does this mean I'm going to have to actually GO TO THE DMV? I know California is broke, but…

I completely agree with you there. I have no idea why, but I totally agree.

God, that was so fucking good. I went to the Museum of TV and Radio's Curb panel two years ago. It was one of the funnier things I've ever been a part of. That show has only gotten better.

This is 'Merica. I believe in freedom. Guac AND salsa.

I LOL'd.

For what it's worth, you consistently make me laugh. Not now, but other times.

Of her ex-boyfriend, Paige said, "he just wanted to get some publicity anyway he could. He was a total star fucker."