After the first Depo shot I got, I proceeded to have an extremely heavy period day and night for three months in a row. Such bullshit.

No, when you’re flattering or bullshitting someone it’s called “blowing smoke up their ass.”

Buffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You sounds like an exceedingly fair, generous and intelligent mom! Seriously! You’ve really got the whole punishments and rewards thing down to a science. It’s 100% clear that if she does the right thing, her life will rule. If she does the wrong thing, her life will suck. Bravo. My parents, like yours, were not that…

Haven’t you ever had a shitty job? They don’t let you take time off for anything.

You don’t dance to Born To Run. You have sex to Born To Run.

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!

Agreed!

You are AWESOME!! And you are 100% right, now that she wants her learner’s permit, you’ve got her by the ovaries. How did the rest of yesterday go?

Oh for the love of The Great Pumpkin, that sounds terrible. You poor thing. Can I respectfully offer what has worked for me? If the childling does things the disrespectful/disruptive way, I tell her (for example) “Little Strawberry, you banged your door into the wall and used your outside voice and woke up your little…

May Athena give you wisdom and strength. :)

Yep. Show us the bottoms of your feet, open your mouth so we can inspect your teeth for Cheetos chunks, and lift your arm so I can smell that armpit. Don’t want to let me do that? Then march yourself right back in there and do it right! P.S. Pro tip: use a great big handful of 3-in-1 Suave Apple Shower Stuff on your…

Trolling is the only way anyone will talk to you, huh? Poor dear.

Don’t even sweat this mahfah. He knows he complains every damn day about choices he’s made. The difference is, you’re articulate and an excellent writer, and you’re funny, so hundreds of people starred and responded to your post. But no one wants to listen to “ThisIsAUsername” (shocking, I know) even when he’s not…

Please tell us more about all of the choices you have made in life that you have never complained about.

Seriously, this is the only way you can get a tween to do basic shit like brush teeth, take a shower, eat something, pick blanket up off floor and put on bed. No wireless password until your brush your teeth and eat something, you 11 year old lunatic.

OMG! Nah, I wish my real name were as cool as Strawberry Jones. :)

Holy shit!

I just said “whoa” out loud.

Thank you lawlover! I just sent an email to my senator. <3