Forever lost among the grays I will remain, but still...

Obligatory nitpicking:
It appears this is not the original clip from the Spongebob Squarepants episode featuring “Sweet Victory” by David Glen Eisley. While our judges would have preferred the [whistle sound from the crowd] at 0:23-0:24 been left in, 3/4 judges were looking for their lighters by the end.
You are to be…

Can I get some popcorn with your projection, bro?

Doesn't matter what I dressed as.
By the end of the night, I always find myself looking like:

Amateur.
The correct response is: "Yeah I know I'm guilty. I understand that. I knew it was a crime, and I did it anyway. Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal."

The Zinger Double Down King is the decades long culmination of cutting-edge, scientific research and the blackest of magics on the part of KFC.
Their goal was to create a food-like product whose sole purpose was to kill, and turn every dead body into 3 more pseudo-sandwiches that would then get up and kill.
Rinse and…

At least it's not Mickey Mouse on some LID (Latent Islamic Domination)

Ideally, Mrs. Smith should have hired Danny DeVito to be at the end of that leash.

I can't defend my compulsion for coffee-flavored dairy drinks.
All I can do is offer this for the record:

*walks up with a pumpkin spice latte* Yeah, but, I mean, how you wear your tie isn't helping or hurting anyone either, right? *sips overpriced drink while thinking of something less uselessly unconstructive to say but can't so just stares over...there...for 15 seconds and walks away*

As I have stated multiple times (On twitter & my podcast)

This. THIS. This for infinity and beyond.

IRL: