"If you cut me, do I not blee—whoa hey that's just a metaphor."

+1

Manischewitz' stock has jumped 24% on the news.

"Because it's soccer, which is European, and that's what the Europeans do!"

Tommy's next piece on Deadspin will appear in 2018, when it is incontrovertibly proven that the "Brett Favre dick pic" was actually a photograph of a Rolo.

Are you talking about a system where the worst of MLS have a playoff with the best of NASL for promotion/relegation? That could be interesting.

Nice piece.

You encounter a SLIME!

Really great piece, Kyle. +1.

+1

+1

Good choice going to Brazil. Had they gone to Spain, there's a good chance they'd be treated like 12 Monkeys.

Nurse: Are you sure this is what you want?

Burger King®: When You're Here, You're Fuckin' Dead ™

Burger King®: Have it Your Way, Puto ™

Burger King®: Home of the Chopper™

+1

+1

When Bruce Lee referred to "the art of fighting without fighting," I doubt this is what he had in mind.

This could actually be Plaschke.