Shit. I've got to look through my browser history. I swear I just saw something about a weird trick to help stave off performance anxiety.

Pictured: American Exceptionalism

Clippers scouts have been eyeing him for a long time. And they can finally bring him in for a tryout, now that the club's "no Pachy's" policy has been reversed.

I don't know, Barry. Asking them to "help model for my Prophet Mohammed hentai" was pretty dumb.

+1

Can't blame him, really. Would you want to own a stadium that's older than you?

The few participants who voted against Boxing were immediately granted judging licenses by the Texas State Athletic Commission.

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According to analysts, the sudden disruption in Eggnog Flavoring revenues will force Pharmachem to divert capital into their long-neglected Supersolider Serum, Mind-Control Toxin and Archvillain Services Divisions.

+1

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"Manhood."

Woman: Oh . . . oh my. I guess everything really is bigger in Texas . . .

Hey, that's great! Dan's still employing the computer guy who got him through high school.

So that's two reasons Ryan Howard can be called "the 1%."

You've crossed the motherfucking line, Toys-R-Us®.

Awesome.