"Instead, it'll be in the winter, when temperatures rarely get out of the 70s."

Whatever - these things are notoriously unreliable.

Leaked Internal Scouting Report: Wow These Nerds Love Merit Badges

Todd Haley volunteered the Steelers for Hard Knocks until he learned that it wasn't a euphemism for vigorous masturbation from a Thai masseuse.

Neighbor: "Okay, okay. NOW 'there goes the neighborhood.'"

In other news, the 15 second orgasm turns 62 in September.

it's nice that some of the Eagles know what ties are now.

Hey, you forgot, "Just a grapefruit in a bowl," Grandma.

Johnny Gomes of ranked lists.

This list is a complete parenting fail. With something like a Christmas list you need to get out in front of it. My wife saw something on pinterest last year that we used with our children and it worked well. Basically you have the kid make a list comprised of four things and it is formatted like this: For Christmas I…

Glad you added that injury in life is 100%. There is no rhyme or reason. I have been diagnosed with ALS. Love your family and friends, do whatever gives you joy. Fuck the rest.

True or false: All hot dogs are sandwiches but not all sandwiches are hot dogs. Support your claim.

This kind of makes me want to die a Dodgers fan.

Regardless of whichever version of events is true, I'm really hoping that his fight had everything to do with the pronunciation of "jaguar."

"Just win, baby."

Media Resents Schiano Accomplishments

"One dude in the hotel bathroom felt so comfortable that he put both his arms up on the partitions dividing the urinals and let out an audible moan while pissing."

Horseradish and Wasabi don't belong on the list. Fish sauce isn't a condiment, it's something you use to make a condiment.