Just incidentally, his current net worth is about 160,000,000

My brother has been a groomsman in, no joke, like twenty weddings. At least. I don't know how he is still sane. I do know he is at least 18 times more popular than I am.

If I had to guess? He’s probably got chub rub. And this is coming from someone who has gotten chub rub, so no, I’m not shaming a little boy. I’m saying that shit is painful af.

I had hoped that the whole wedding attendant thing would have moved away from the implied investment when accepting to be in someone’s wedding. I only had a maid of honor, so I was only in one other wedding. My husband, on the other hand, was constantly being asked to be that extra guy when the bride has like 8…

Honest question—as a member of the gay community, why in the world would you support Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders?

I wonder if they were freaking out because of the nursing baby. That happens sometimes- people are fine with sexy boobies but not at all ok with breastfeeding.

I think I like this analogy more than I ever liked watching the actual adventures of Yogi the Bear.

Rubio talks about Muslims like they’re bears.

It kinda reminds me of republicans death-grip on the founding fathers, despite having nothing in common with them, morally or intellectually. Like, if John Adams was alive today he would 1) be very confused and 2) have no time for this shit-flinging nonsense.

I have a theory that this is true of a lot of people who can get guys/girls super easily and only sleep with people once. It’s like no one bothers to tell them they suck in bed because it’s a one time thing.

Apparently Ted Cruz recently came out and said that JFK would be a republican in today’s society and that dems would hate him. This is because JFK cut taxes (while technically true, historical context matters) and stood for religious liberty (also technically true, but he stood for actual religious liberty not…

...running to Pilates in between facialist and hair appointments, getting salads and vodka delivered.

No point to this whatsoever without the original cast.

Can someone with scientific knowledge tell me, do fetuses at 10 weeks have feet?

Yep.

I heard that the CW is going to do a remake of “Golden Girls”, except instead of having it take place in a retirement community, the leads will all be blonde 16 year old girls going to a high school where everyone is super attractive.

Yeah, i’ve carried my screaming kid down the street under my arm as well. Not exactly a parent of the year moment. :-/

My mother has definitely had to do that to me in the past when I was being a little shit. Luckily she hasn’t had to do it for a whole year, so I feel like I’m finally nearing adulthood.

I’m still (because I am delusional) holding out for a Happy Endings revival. As long as he’s working and I can watch, I’ll take him however I can get him.