“Heegogn” is the worst call in sports.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Blatter.

So, 80-foot shooting teams: how’s it goink? Oh, you’re down 3-1?

1. I don’t know.

I think he addressed this quite nicely actually when he mentioned that in all reality, the difference comes out to about "1.5 to 2 more fumbles per season." That small a difference could come down to any of the reasons mentioned (great QB that gets rid of the ball quickly, emphasis on players that don't fumble, just…

If it were, I would have posted about it myself.

And just as a reminder, the Seattle Seahawks will play the New England Patriots this Sunday in Super Bowl XLIX, from somewhere in Arizona.

Good stuff, fellas.

A large part of our mission is ruining nearly all forms of fun except those we explicitly endorse, which are mostly made up of obnoxious in-jokes and obnoxiously literary poop jokes.

That's not how statistical significance works.

You can hate New England. It requires no reason. This is sports. Irrational hatred is allowed.

"need you home a sap"

Unfortunately most of the country was asleep during this game, so I see the parallel with soccer.

Scott Kacsmar's Twitter bio includes "lover of spreadsheets & Japanese women." Just in case you were wondering if Scott Kacsmar is a creep or not.

HEY THEY ARE KICKING FROM THE 35 YARD LINE INSTEAD OF THE 30! THAT'S 5 LESS YARDS THE BALL HAS TO TRAVEL BEFORE IT CAN BE RECO-What? That rule was changed? Wouldn't that mean kickoffs will mostly sail out of the endzone and transition right back into a 2 minute commercial break? It does but no one cares?

In defense of the 40+ crowd, and recent eulogizing notwithstanding, none of this — the font, the clothes, the talk, the people, the facial hair, the music — was cool when it aired.

Ohio, where you can drive from California to Oregon and still be stuck in Ohio.