I'm just happy that whoever has the erection for animal abuse stories at Gawker HQ has been on vacation.

Sounds good :)

Oh Jesus. I can get behind convincing them not to shop but to go on to punish then by taking them to the National Mall? For shame.

It's a joke but Jezebel does NOTHING to combat the stereotype of the unfunny feminist. They don't do humor well here :(

I feel like he'd be fucking amazing in bed. Also, big balls.

No. You have Celiac. You aren't also necessarily a picky asshole. I'm not saying that the two are always connected. Just that, in my experience, when they're connected...they make for an awful time.

It's not that I hate people with Celiac, it's that I hate picky assholes. They're not necessarily the same, I know.

Their existence isn't what's annoying. It's their WAYS.

Relax, muffin.

You're taking me too seriously, dear.

Nope. Food allergy people are the worst. Sorry that your opinion is so wrong.

It's probably not even as germy as I think it is...but I'd rather be overly germ-phobic than the next Ebola nurse.

Yeah, I'm on the server's side. Picky gluten people are the fucking worst.

Except for the fact that it's not nice. It's gross food passed around until someone decides to be gross enough to eat it.

Guys, what are we gonna do if he actually comes here and eats all the bread?

I'm never gonna make it to the inevitable "HD version" of this game next year. I WANT IT NOW!

No. It's not like he killed a white person.

That's why I don't like anal. It feels like a shit trying to jump back in.

Straight guys LOVE pussy. I can't fathom why but it must be awesome enough to have your balls fucked with.

Noted.