I wish his name really was Burt.

According to the poll on TMZ, this isn't racist so you better change this article. Stat.

I NEVER KNEW HOW TO DANCE WHILST PLAYING REMOTELY! HUZZAH!

Will you please fuck off? You're reaching too far with this one, I promise. Go smoke some pot and chill the fuck out.

It's funny because people like you will always be out there pissing and moaning about it instead of focusing on...I dunno...something worthwhile.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. These fuckers need to lighten up.

Think of it this way: At least you don't look like Wiz Khalifa.

Who looks at Wiz Khalifa and thinks "I really want to sex him and marry him?" He's one of the ugliest fucks around. He's not even Lil' Wayne ugly, he's Ja Rule ugly. I'm glad she came to her senses.

Fellas, the "drunk lady herp derp" joke has been taken. Move along.

*troll shield activated*

At least if they were funny...

My aunt's dog once ate a knee-high stocking. It made its own way through the poor guy until the end when she had to intervene. You haven't lived until you've seen a shit-covered stocking being pulled out of a dog's asshole like a stinky magician's kerchief.

You mother is an asshole.

Still fucking disgusting and stupid.

Brenda is such a perfect name for this. Good for you.

We only defend democrats because we know it will make you pissy. See? It worked!

That should have gone straight into her mailbox.

I'm anything but cool...and I'm completely fine with it.

I just figured it was the latest subject the more hipster-esque Gawker writers had seized upon.

Certain words are just try-hard and that's one of them.