Oswalt always has the best insults. On his special Werewolves and Lollipops, a dude randomly shouts in the middle of an involved joke, and Oswalt tears into him absolutely without restraint for about five minutes before finally just sighing and finishing it with, “You’re going to miss everything cool and die angry.”

Man…

Funny story: when Dane Cook released his Madison Square concert film, I felt his bit about TiVO (God, dating this further) ripped off one Patton Oswalt did. I felt so incensed I actually sent a MySpace message about this to Patton and (because this was early internet) got a response.

“Hey, lay off the guy. How’s he…

I feel like there’s a difference between continuing to exist and being a thing.

Doesn’t look like anybody is agreeing with you.

It doesn’t even need to be tied to age.

that generation is so jacked full of cluster b's and narcissists who will freak the fuck out so loudly it will never happen.  Theyll just keep killing decent younger people.

Bill’s still only seen as a rascal womanizer, not as a guy who used his position and power to have sex with a young intern at his place of work. Lewinsky was never granted that same double standard. 

Monica Lewinsky was the victim of a deliberate and malicious attack on her character by both parties looking to throw her under the bus to either defend or attack Clinton. That entire debacle was constructed by newspaper headlines, 24-hour news cycles, and late-night hacks. She wasn’t just publicly shamed. She was…

I would love a mass egging of assholes, but it'd probably get people shot here.

Tucker Carlson somehow becoming relevant 14 years after Crossfire is proof that public shaming doesn’t really work because public shaming is not enough.

And if Archduke Ferdinand didn’t want that sandwich we never would have had WWI. But I don’t think it’s fair to attribute the war and everything that came with it (Economic despair, Hitler, WWII, the Atomic Bomb) to him.

It’s a fun thought experiment to play “what if Al Gore had won,” but to basically blame a 22-year old intern with a crush on her boss for the death of millions around the world certainly transforms it into an awful take.

They’ll just shrug and say, "Wow that was some weird weather!"

See also: Catastrophic flooding in southern Malawi/ eastern Zimbabwe/ Mozambique.

Seems kind of ironic that these floods keep happening in states which voted for the party who refuses to do anything about climate change, and even denies it exists.

This really isn’t getting the coverage it deserves.

Anybody who finds this disturbing and predictive should consider supporting Jay Inslee for President. Even if he doesn’t win the nomination, he has taken climate change seriously his whole political career, has some great ideas, and lots of practical experience building and operating a green economy. He is this…

I miss the time when all I had to do in a day was play Chrono Trigger and binge junk food and Simpsons reruns. Why can’t the world be when I was 13 again? (But only summer break, middle school blew.)

I miss when light night political comedy involved Conan O’Brien having a larger audience and not having his career at NBC destroyed by a fickle, unfunny asshat who then handed his late night spot over to another asshat.

Ever since I saw her in Humans I thought she was jaw-droppingly gorgeous. She’s just staring straight into my soul through that picture. Should I go over and talk to her?