Counterpoint: Raspberries are so delicious nature literally tries to prevent you from eating them with thorns and shit.

The ticklish person....No, nothing about your story is normal. Most of it wasn’t a “reaction” to being tickled either. It was just you being a prick. This story was totally made up, but I hope someone tickles you everyday of your life just in case.

How is it possible for a person to be so very wrong about something? How do you get by in your day-to-day life? I hope you have friends and let Veda ones looking out for you. You need protection from your own foolishness.

“Two to three years of regular sexual contact with your wife is probably enough to close the gap with your mom.” -Drew Magary.

Every building in the city was like that!

I thought I’ve seen “dirty buildings” before, but my god. That Flickr photo of Carnegie Library is horrifying.

Map of the stars, dude. Sold everywhere in LA.

“Can we really actually prove it was white guys who did this? I mean, like, was it even really racist? Was it any more racist than anything that happens in any other city, and definitely wouldn’t happen in Boston? You gotta ask yourself, you know, because the blacks...you know, the black people, they will do anything…

HEY WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST RESPONDERS AND FIRE FIGHTERS AND TROOPS HUH LEBABY????/

Thank you, I was trying to figure out the appropriate Curt Schilling joke to make here.

Right. I get that he has a viewpoint here and that’s great and all…

Because you punch up, not down.

I am doxing here but fuck him

I can’t even begin to fathom what the fart profile of that combination is.

A few years ago when Burger King started offering 10 nuggets for $1.50, I started wondering just how many I could eat. I finished 50 nuggets in 9 minutes. Felt like garbage, but estimated my cap somewhere around 65. I was 30.

I used to routinely eat an entire entemanns devils food cake at one sitting. I have the diabetes now, but god was it worth it

My freshman year of college, I completed the “pizza two mile” with several of my cross-country teammates. One whole Papa John’s large cheese pizza, eight laps on a track. Eat a slice, run a lap, continue for eight of each. I finished the ordeal in 16 minutes and 17 seconds, and it remains both my greatest athletic and…

My post football game meal was typically two large pizzas, a two liter of Coke and a box of twinkles. Kept the same weight within 5 pounds all 4 years of high school.

If you were a Junior or a Senior at my High School, you got open lunch during finals week. My friends and I went to White Castle and essentially had a chicken-ring (not nuggets, rings) eating contest. I took down 45 of them, on top of waffle fries and soda, in our half hour lunch period. I had to bail in the middle…

I am literally in Tanzania right now on a safari that has changed my life, and in all sincerity every time we saw [an extremely rare] big cat it was amazing/substantial/impressive/humbling. Every time. Lions scare cheetahs, hyeanas, everyone. They are apex predators, like us. Better than us. I was lucky enough to see…