“Porn Preppers” is the next TLC reality show.

That’s an absurd lotion.

I’m not sure how much “dad rock” is going to be a problem going forward, but “dad hip hop” is going to hilarious. Get ready for crusty old 90s babies waxing poetic about Nelly and Ja Rule. (“I’m Real Remix” is the single most important remix of all time!”)

You think I am going to do a Google Search for “Should I lean back on the toilet bowl while jerking off in the bathroom.” WTF kind of comment is this.

Paint yourself silver first?

Haha, web and mobile software development. We do pretty well and I’m not terribly ambitious, which is why I can get away with giving my team certain perks (plus they’re solid people, they’ve more than earned it).

Nah, if you are young (say less than 30) and single you share the room, save $150 and still abide by proper wedding ettiquette which says that if one of you can score with a drunk bridesmaid, the other sleeps in the lobby. I think one of the ten commandments says “Thou Shall Not Impede a Roommate from Hooking Up”

What kind of animal jerks it ON the toilet? Do people do this? It’s like some sort of self-gratifying blumpkin.

Anyone ever drink....and then work-out?

Serious question: How are you not constantly stressed that your butt is not far enough out. I had to do this -once- in the woods, and it was incredibly anxiety-causing that the poop would somehow hook around and drop right into the pants around my ankles.

Tommy Craggs gave me a second chance. I spent nearly three years writing for a different Gawker site, and I hit a point where I was just done. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was looking elsewhere, and my time at the company was up. I didn’t want to leave though, and in a passing conversation, I told Tommy I felt…

Fucking A.

This line almost made my head explode.

Beautiful.

Rap song!
Rap rap song!
We do our raps and the girls go wild!
We drink lots of 40s and we make bad videos!
They can’t stop us from uploading to YouTube!
Boo-boo-boodily boo-boo-ba-doo
Doodily-boop-de-doop-de-doo doo
Doo-doo-doodily-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doodily-doo-ba-doo-boo-boo

You have it backwards, shower *then* bath. That way you’re already clean before you soak.

I love baths. I am a man. I AM THE DEVIL!