A rod pretzel?

Don’t you realize that it’s going to cost 2,231 hours of programmer time and $79,229.09 to retrieve the receipts? Everyone know that, duh.

I think you missed the point here.

Male soccer players never care what they look like on the pitch!!!!!

Speaking of mystery turds:

I see your Hot Buffalo Wing and raise you...

Fuck. You.

Fun fact: British Columbia was this close to joining the United States back after the Civil War. When the Dominion of Canada was created, it was just everything east of Ontario. West of Ontario was still British North America, an English colony.

As Jim Jefferies once said: “God works in mysterious ways? What’s so mysterious about being a fucking asshole?”

Being President is kind of a shit job, if you actually care about doing it.

days like today will make me remember that, beside his title as president, Obama is, more importantly, our leader. I needed to hear his speech upon the SCOTUS decision. I needed that catharsis from Amazing Grace. He’s led us through so many events that if it weren’t for him being at the helm, i’m not sure how we’d…

The people at Gawker did a hell of a thing when they hired Greg Howard to write for them, and I am sure I’m not the only one who is thankful they did.

When you give rights to the minority, you take rights away from the majority—-simple logic.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVe the fact that the more progressive we get, the more and more these people sound like absolute LOONEY TOONS.

illeagls sounds like an avian themed hip hop group

There is no khaki fetish porn.

But he gave the story some color by the end.

You’d break into the Patriots’ computers only to discover you’d actually hacked a dummy system set up specifically to attract and trap enterprising hackers. All their important information is stored in card catalogue form and stored in Belichick’s office/bedroom/bathroom/basement which are all the same room.

I actually had a teacher make every answer on a 25 question multiple choice test “B.” You’ve never seen so many dipshits whining about how unfair something is.

I dunno, I kind of dug it. Being from Southern California, and having lived there most of my life, I thought it was interesting how they portrayed what’s actually behind the glitz and glamour facade everyone assumes is SoCal. There really are these seedy casinos and huge industrial complexes in the middle of broken…