Rhymes with Hunt’s!

Heinz ketchup

I completely disagree. I always buy the towels on sale for $1.97 at Target, and they’re great. Fluffy towels don’t actually dry anything, they just stay soaked. Also when the towel gets disgusting enough after a few months of being rubbed on my taint and laundered again and again, I just dump it for a new one.

No to Waffle House. Why do people love this joint? I get that it costs 20 cents for hash browns, but they’re worth a nickel at most.

Phil is blameless because of his constant self-contradictions. You can’t blame his opinions because he doesn’t have any consistent ones.

Maybe they’re Indian? It’s not just a GoT reference over there.

I’ve had it - it was the best-selling slice at the pizza joint next to my place. Really good! They used lots of blue cheese though, so one slice was so rich that I couldn’t eat anything else for hours.

But this is why Twitter is better.

Best description is that it’s a digital living room where you can screen for only people who have cool things to say about whatever you’re discussing.

Pubic Salad.

How often are you buying new jeans? When they get too gross, do you just go out and buy a new pair?

Uh, you do know those are just an Instagram filter, right?

I’m really glad now that I’ve never haunted somebody by accident.

Having attended a 60/40 white/black HS with a good deal of in-school fighting, I’ve seen big security guards wrestle kids to the floor several times. The difference was that our security guards only got physical when separating two student combatants — I never saw anything go down against a sitting student the way it…

+1 AB dropkick to the punter’s face. I went to the final Steelers v. Real Browns game in 95 (in Cleveland) and couldn’t believe I felt sorry for the Dawg Pound. That hasn’t abated in 20 years.

I remember an appearance he did on Leno that must have been close to his death — he was completely coked up and soaked in sweat, trying way too hard to be “Chris Farley” but in a way that made you fear for his own mental well-being rather than laugh. It was awful to watch.

So much love for this response.

That’s when he’ll be his best: no more need to balance out political capital and swallow his real thoughts.

Fair point. But fuck everything else he’s done.

Thank you for putting this so perfectly. Fuck Seth MacFarlane AND his manatee writers.