As a fellow Steeler fan, "Fire him because he sucks but we'll never find anybody as good!" is the most Steeler-fan thing you could ever say.

The one where I did it had a Roku-type thing with a remote control, and when you turn on the monitor, the default screen was rows of Pornhub clips with one for each genre. VERY high-end. (I went for the cum-on-tits compilation.)

No mention of their quoted admiration of the Koch brothers? I couldn't figure out if that was expert trolling of liberal New York Magazine readers or just the future assholedom you describe.

I see you don't understand the First Amendment either.

You gotta update your HTML tags yo! <strong and <em are where it's at.

Are you my wife? This is how I ended up with three cats and a dog.

I just got the old-man "In my college days, a 30 of Busch Light cost $11!" reaction. Fuck, it's starting already and I don't even have kids yet.

You should turn this into a multimillion-dollar book and movie franchise, like that "Heaven is Real" weirdo.

As a kid, I was 100% convinced that one night I would look out my window into the back yard and have a silent alien stare right back at me.

Seriously? I would LOVE to live in a haunted house. Plus it's a great bargain!

I lived that outfield moment many times. /theworst

+10,000 reality-check points

This x10,000.

Yuengling is praiseworthy because it's the best of the cheap options. It's priced at the Keystone Light level but, while certainly not Three Floyds Gumballhead, still has a flavor that's pleasantly malty and not actively offensive like Coors or what have you. So you can get a passable beer at the price of a terrible…

You win the NFL commentary. ALL of the NFL commentary.

Would very, very much still hit it.

This argument is so stupid there isn't even a proper response.

I've been to a cocktail party at Sally Quinn's house. There were indeed lots of self-important nerds, plus Ben Bradlee hit on my wife. The most ur-DC moment of my time in DC.

But the important question: Has shit this awesome happened after the wedding? Because if so, you seem to have found some sort of mind-blowing sex alien.

I'm trying to do all the moral backflips required to justify my fandom — at least Dan Rooney is one of the somewhat-kinda-sorta less-bad owners (ignoring James Harrison and Roethlisberger — OK, nevermind) — and yet I know I'm still going to watch. I think any effort to boycott the USA's most popular sport is doomed to…