This x10,000.

Yuengling is praiseworthy because it's the best of the cheap options. It's priced at the Keystone Light level but, while certainly not Three Floyds Gumballhead, still has a flavor that's pleasantly malty and not actively offensive like Coors or what have you. So you can get a passable beer at the price of a terrible…

You win the NFL commentary. ALL of the NFL commentary.

Would very, very much still hit it.

This argument is so stupid there isn't even a proper response.

I've been to a cocktail party at Sally Quinn's house. There were indeed lots of self-important nerds, plus Ben Bradlee hit on my wife. The most ur-DC moment of my time in DC.

But the important question: Has shit this awesome happened after the wedding? Because if so, you seem to have found some sort of mind-blowing sex alien.

I'm trying to do all the moral backflips required to justify my fandom — at least Dan Rooney is one of the somewhat-kinda-sorta less-bad owners (ignoring James Harrison and Roethlisberger — OK, nevermind) — and yet I know I'm still going to watch. I think any effort to boycott the USA's most popular sport is doomed to…

Medill?

Well, as much as we like to deny that our fanbase has as many dipshits as all the other teams, every shithead we grew up with in Pittsburgh is also a Steeler fan.

Doubtful. Once the offense realized your weakness, they'd simply hold on to the puck until getting close enough to the net to ram it right on in, tanking your save percentage because it would be entirely high-quality chances. Are you really going to be out there grabbing rebounds from a 200-pound NHL player?

NHL-goalie guy is as bad as that asshole who argued that he could be a MLB pitcher several Funbags ago. A .100 save percentage would be a HUGE accomplishment for some jagoff from the Internet.

Chamillionaire said the same thing, and that he was impressed with Al's rapping.

=VLOOKUP(OldBeigeGuy,"YYYY") + 1

My wife and I are getting the process underway!

Saddest irony of this line of thinking: If you're conscientious and empathetic enough to ask "should I bring a child into this shithole?" you're exactly the type of parent who would make it less of a shithole.

Spot on for my top-ranked college as well: there were only a few gunners and everyone made fun of them. I got in with parents who told me "A 3.0 GPA is great!" Do you know how easy it is to get a 3.0 with grade inflation?

Even your description of brilliant individuals is wrong. Every genius professor has lab assistants, Thomas Edison had an entire company, Henry Ford had people to design the assembly line. Even taking away those assistants, everything those people did was based in some way on prior work. Your genius Isaac Newton said…

"This Is Spinal Tap" but about early '90s rappers.

Probably should start by taking Andrew Jackson off the $20 bill.