I have no doubt that would be a very uncomfortable thing to do, though I doubt that Kate Upton threw up from the pain of this sequence, which is what I did after taking a hockey shot in the genitals. But if there are people who would find such an image arousing, more power to them.

As a man, I would just like to say: boobs.

Their "gang symbol" is a middle finger and the shocker? These wastes of flesh apparently learned everything about life from nu-metal.

I have proof that this is false: I went to a Jeopardy audition recently, and the contestant coordinators mentioned this Matt Lauer rumor — apparently he started it himself because he wants the job, and the Jeopardy team openly refuted the idea that they're considering him. So Matt Lauer will not be hosting Jeopardy.

I was exclusively an Irish-style tea (with milk) guy for years, and I still love it, but I have mostly switched to coffee. Coffee is available everywhere, the tea at work kind of sucked, and over time I just grew to like it. It really is like beer.

You take your grapefruit pink, juicy and in the raw. It's the sex in a complete breakfast.

When's the last time you ate a grapefruit? The pink ones are delicious and right at the peak sweet/sour balance - I eat them almost every day. Time for you to revisit that shit.

Yep. This is why I'm glad every time my nerd friends announce that they're about to have another one.

Thousands of years ago we didn't have 8 billion humans living high-consumption lifestyles.

Mid-air cum-catching has to be the theme of a porno somewhere.

This is like the most expensive Joe's Crab Shack in existence.

I could see if you swallowed while the D was still in there; then you'd end up with more suction and that would be awesome. But if the D's back out again, then it hardly makes a difference.

I'm guessing that explanation was given by a guy who wanted you to swallow, because that makes zero sense. You're right on the second sentence though.

You are doing the straight, breast-loving men of the world a great service.

Making a choice != you are free from others' negative reactions

Hey, nothing wrong with digital brand strategists. Some of us are yinzer NFL fans!

We can mock this article, but isn't there a lot of truth here? Working in the NYC "elite liberal media" back in the day, the intellectual dudes there considered it a badge of honor to be able to talk about Chelsea's newly acquired striker, or whatever it is you call that guy who does the soccer thing. I NEVER hear…

I prefer "Yinzbro".

My favorite thing about Wicker Park is how they still consider themselves "edgy" despite having a Marc Jacobs boutique.

Also dating a blond girl named Lindsay or Lindsey who drives an Audi A4 with a MSU Kappa Alpha Theta sticker.