Never too early to learn that in this world there are Habs and there are Hab Nots.

Would have been far more effective in removing the lint had he started from the bottom.

It would really make a lot more sense if you hadn't cropped it, Kyle.

[watches Dolan be incredibly open]

"Boys say wha; girls say wha-what... Blaze a blaze, galang-a-lang-a-lang. Purple haze, galang-a-lang-a-lang."

-Excerpted from affadavit of eyewitness Wes Welker

That's cool and all, but I'm afraid the Cavs have yet to grasp the concept of "adding depth."

Pictured:

I believe the colloquial term for the procedure in the baseball world is "Tornmy Dong" surgery.

Damn, right before pitchers and catheters were scheduled to report, too.

No surprise this is going to keep him off the mound for a while.

We're all pulling for him...wait...what?

Such a frivolous conflict. If Hagensicker had really wanted to quiet things down and reduce weekend activity to a trickle, he could have just signed Williams' house to a multiyear deal.

Dream Girl

Can you imagine the frustration of sacrificing four years of your life in pursuit of your dream to be the best in the world, only to have all that sacrifice and progress rendered moot by an uncooperative, Russian winter?

Woman: Here, to prove you're really Dwight Howard, make this foul shot.

...if I was a Deadspin writer, I would write articles just so I could flirt with women, too.

Geez, what a thug. He just said he goes into the strip club and doesn't even tip.

[takes a shot]

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