had a martini for breakfast today...probably will have some shneef for lunch - but this is normal for young executives. i drive a Tesla, by the way.

pssh, ya right. Like MidTown traffic is ever that clear.

Guess you’re right, should just scrap the whole damn thing.

we all have dreams

Yeah, we all know where this is going.

TL;DR samsung yet again threw shit against the wall and hoped it would stick while charging a sizable/unjustified premium.

Phil? from accounting? Oh boy, we uhh, we haven’t seen Phil for a week, not since he went to go see Wendy in HR and decided to go through the Forbidden Grove. Ted should be able to sign off on that for you, but he’s on vacation until next month.

And say you’re the one gay guy. Shit.

How dare them make buying basic consumer supplies like toilet paper and laundry detergent (two things I really hope you and everyone else in the first world chooses to use) easier. Those bastards. Clearly what we should be doing is spending an hour going to a grocery store and giving them our money instead of spending…

i raced a Dodge Charger in my Tesla Model S and took advantage of the situation, fully.

and in other news, "I was going to stop beating my wife just before they arrested me".

My nieces know how to use computers and tablets and phones like nobody's business... but when you ask them tech-specific questions they completely blank and have no clue what you're asking them. Even the easiest thing, like hooking up speakers to a PC seems to be beyond them. Some kids don't even know that Macs ARE…

The judge accidentally drew a really good analogy with safe cracking. Has congress ever considered going to a safe manufacturer and telling them that their security measures were too effective and they needed to install secret back doors for law enforcement because criminals could be hiding evidence in those safes? I…

I'm a huge dog lover but not sure what hat you pulled that random number out of. Each of my dogs eats about $25 of food per month, has a little over $100 in vet fees for an annual checkup and shots, and usually gets one or two visits to a professional groomer a year for about another $50 each. That's $500/year before…

Can you put some numbers around that? Commercially available drones aren't necessarily all that expensive (a few hundred dollars), and dogs aren't all that cheap to own.

It's Gear VR. If you have a Note 4, you can do the same.

I can't tell if loading up 1,000 USB stick with the It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia episode "The Gang Solves the North Korean Situation" would help or hurt the cause.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

you sound like a nice person