Wow. Wow.

"Thanks to the support of my tremendous family and friends, I have decided I will not be attending the draft this year."

Both teams are nicknamed the Owls

It's still in your URL link though.

"No Donovan,? Motherfucking cocksucker asshole douchebag. Makes sense."

Counting up post counts for negative and positive stories is not a very convincing metric of "balance" in coverage.

If it's a girl we'll name her Jennifer. If it's a boy we'll name him Harry. And if it comes out looking like Whoopi Goldberg with a penis, well...Jenrry.

MUSBURGER: Why not a selfie?

That one episode of FLCL.

As an entertainment show, the Oscars will be irrelevant until they have the balls to let Ricky Gervais host.

So wait, this guy's not allowed to shoot icicles, but his neighbor is allowed to hang his lights?

Well he never said he had enough Regina to eat at home. So...

Wasn't David Foster Wallace suspended from the Tennis Writer's Association of America for similar mockery? Or maybe it was from the ceiling. My bad.

I would have voted for this one.

I think you have him confused with the guy who had a kid beat half to death.

OK, so this guy orders his friends to beat the shit out of a kid for being gay. He brags about ruining his face and leaving him toothless in a school paper, which he turns in to his openly gay professor, and appears to be proud of his behavior.

When will we see the author's resignation letter?

Oh hey there's a gif too DON'T LOOK AT IT.

"All the greats put vaseline on their gloves."