Do you mean that you want to see half of the seats totally empty, or all of the seats half-empty. The first one makes much more sense, but somehow I really hope its the second. A whole bunch of cut-in-half rich people at the frozen Superbowl, that would be hilarious!

A) That is clearly a child.

So that's why they wore full-body, long-sleeved bathing sweaters.

Looks like almost as much fun as the "Battikake" parties he used to host back at Duke.

Pick a lock

Commander Keen got there first! Great, now I want to find and play it immediately...

He's still not as intimidating as Adam "The Slim Weeper" Morrison.

"Seriously, what's with this guy?"

Regress "incidents of body contact" against "player density (kg/m^3)," and I bet that there is a real positive relationship. Not that it negates what you are saying, but there are almost certainly more real fouls under the basket than out in open space.

Also, 100% of shooting foul calls take place off the ball, in the area immediately inside the referee's mouth.

I'm psyched at the very idea of this article, searching closed captioning for keywords is brilliant, and I'm psyched at the very premise of this article. I have two suggestions. First, be careful to filter out all of the mentions of "thug" where the topic is quasi-religious assassins. Second, pursuing the…

This makes so much more sense to me now... The other day I went out to Taco Bell with a hockey-watching friend, and he punched me in the mouth. I asked him why, and he said that I'd ordered myself a fourth-meal, when he wanted to get breakfast.

It probably helped him to stay grounded that he was 36 years old during 8th grade.

I had season tickets for the Hornets for a couple years in New Orleans, and was perpetually marvelling over the great game experience and value. Especially considering that they were a top-tier team for those very same years...*

No 'one and one' in the NBA.

Monta Ellis is a patsy! The truth is out there! (The CIA fouled Austin Rivers.)

Hah, right, he could have been going for the desperation pass with zero seconds left - it's genius, a lesser defender than Monta Ellis would never have seen it coming! Anyway, even on a pass attempt, that's a foul.

Yeah! That's the one! So, to clarify, I get so sick of Star-spangled Banner renditions that are all full of melismas and pirouettes and shit.

How about this one?