She didn't fall for shit, homegirl took those stairs all on her two front feet.

She didn't fall down the stairs... or slip... she hopped down.

Did she try to kill you?

Speaking as an agnostic here: If someone is a true believer in God, then maybe they shouldn't question His/Her wisdom in creating whoever the hell He/She chooses to create? If God is infallable, then it seems pretty freaking arrogant of man to look askance upon that.

I totally read that as "Adam West" at first.

I'd feel less grossed out by the CafePress if they were donating the money to animal... anything, pretty much. I can't find anything that indicates that.

And the whole spectacle made me hope against hope that this family stops rewarding the cat that saved its kid's life by constantly stressing it out.

And the whole spectacle made me hope against hope that this family stops rewarding the cat that saved its kid's life by constantly stressing it out.

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

"I have my doubts that any viking would admit to being gay, even under his breath."

I have a prescription for sex toys: I have what's known as Congenital Genital Syndrome (CGS). Instead of being born like a barbie doll and engaging in normal stork-based reproduction, I was born with genitals and have to reproduce in a way that makes Jesus have a sadfase =(

Can we have a day where there are no disappointing stories and its all kittens and baby goats and stories about how great waffles are.

why is her face like that

Shoulder pads are evil.

So basically, diet and exercise to get a slim figure. You look great, right? No, pathetic woman, even though you have the figure of a model you are no longer sexy enough. Cover your awful skinniness with things that make you look like you might have looked if you didn't diet and exercise so much. Hide the figure you…

I'm | too sexy for the dance | too sexy for the Dads | too sexy for the lads

Her response to all of this is sheer perfection:

You know what? The school didn't take the correct actions to combat rape on campus. You subject a rape victim to clarify how the attack on her was even physically possible in an official hearing on the case, then this is the response that you get. Students get desperate.

I wouldn't be able to tell if the model is laughing for real or faking it, because I'd be thinking "Hair. Hair. Gorgeous hair. Bouncy hair. Hair. Hair."

There are many many insane elements to this statement, particularly in light of the question, but this is the most problematic to me: