I was at the Ikea in the Wang Jing neighborhood of Beijing once, and I saw a middle-class man trying to get his daughter to urinate onto a support beam. "You wanna go? You wanna go? Go!" This was while he was standing right next to a trashcan. The security guard standing right the fuck next to him was just on her…

By "this job", are you referring to a Kotaku columnist ? Because she's perfect in that regard. She has some excellent (and I stress "excellent") writing on her personal website, which means it'll never see print here, seeing as how this site has already successfully cultivated her sensationalist persona.

No Asian female quadriplegic protagonist with Crohn's = not interested

lawl at "random"

Yup. I meant "You too, huh" as in "So you clicked on this article because of the awkwardly-worded title, too, huh"

Not to sound snobby, but judging by the content of the most active comment threads in response to this article, it doesn't really seem to bother anyone else. So, maybe it's just me that finds the context of this article a little disturbing.

No female protagonist = not interested

You too, huh

I've been playing this all day and laughing my ass off while doing so. Thanks for the tip!

As long as Criterion didn't change Sonic's fur color to black and give him a 'tude, that is.

Honestly, I think any notable character would make for solid endless runner fodder (a Nathan Drake-inspired Temple Run game, for instance), but it makes a lot of sense for Sonic. Hell, this could probably make for a game that is closest in spirit to the original and best Sonic games.

iOS is quickly becoming my go-to gaming platform most of these days. I have time set aside for Tomb Raider and Bioshock, but those had to be planned well in advance.

Gotta agree, that's some strong SEO there

Man, I really need to work on my sarcasm. Sometimes subtle is too subtle :P

It's not too late to go back to consoles, you know. Think about it: you've had a long day at work/class/whatever, and you just need to unwind. I mean, you could go sit at a desk for *another* few hours and stare into yet another monitor. Or, you could plant yourself on your nice couch, prop your feet up on your…

Thanks for the article. The slow framerate in level one was driving me nuts, especially considering I just got a new graphics card for my rig.

I saw this earlier and I think "straight-up 90s" is also how I'd describe it. However it may try, it still can't replace the commercial for Link's Awakening in my heart.

This is, hands down, the most entertaining and captivating piece of writing I've read on a gaming enthusiast site in a long, long time.

Almost every single one of Patricia's articles have been carefully crafted pieces of bait, but for some reason I'm not feeling it with this one. There's definitely a representation problem and tech/science companies aren't doing enough to project a more diverse image and protect themselves from the inevitable…

I disagreed with your critique of lack of a female lead in the Gears of War series, but I'm with you on this one. Honestly, this did bug me a lot. As much as I feel companies like Sony and all of its third-party developers are faceless entities, I give them the benefit of the doubt in the sense that I would ASSUME…