"According to authorities."

I have a vintage ad for Pillsbury Bran Flakes hanging in my bathroom because the copy goes on & on about how bran flakes are great for constipation, and constipation is the enemy of beauty. It's hung directly across from the pot, so you can sit & read about poo whilst you poo.

I'm looking at the part where they're boasting about how many calories are in raisons! "1560 calories of energising nutriment per pound!". How things have changed.

Anwar's modeling career seems imminent.

Well, Chavez didn't set off a genocide, so the right choice was made.

My fantastic friends helped me make approximately 80 burlap-wrapped invitations. They all came out wonderful and no one fought.

So a few years back, I was planning a bridal shower for a wedding in which I was the MOH. The bridesmaid that designed the invitations did such a terrible job, I redid them and sent the nice, elegant ones to everyone except that bridesmaid and her mother. No regrets.

I specifically counsel about sex in adolescent visits, but the question actually comes up on its own, usually during my "Ask me anything" portion of the exam. "Is my [genitalia] normal" is probably one of the most common questions I get after "Is pot really all that bad for you?" Boys and girls ask it more and more…

Just when I was getting used to the fact that no one cared about my stupid boner.

Most important pic of the night.

My friends took me to a drag show then we did karaoke while they got me unspeakably drunk. We finished an enormous bottle of gin. It was fantastic.

Well, we need to lure you right on down into South by God Carolina, so you can get another punch in your Deep South card!

I don't get cable, so I won't be watching, but it sounds like it might delve some into the class divide that produces the entirely different lives of these women growing up practically in each…

only when i'm drunk or mad or with my family

Okay. Well. Hmm. I'm an emotion researcher by trade, and I am highly, highly skeptical of these data. First of all, as a rule, people are *terrible* at retrospectively telling you how they felt about something when it happened. Because we don't stop emotionally processing after the thing is over - we go back, we…

YOU GUYS I JUST MET SOMEONE WHO READS THIS BLOG AT MAC.

Also this:

Be nice to our guests or you won't be invited back.