Wow, thank you for sharing. I really admire your strength, I can't imagine how hard that was, especially since you have children.

I'm extremely late to the party but stumbled upon your post. What was the breaking poing for you, and what gave you the strength to leave?

I agree, it can't be forced. It has to happen naturally.

When I first read that, I became so angry at what was said to you and angry for you. I have to commend you for taking the time to work through with your friend his flawed and racist thinking. Clearly, he is someone to you that is worth it, worth investing in, and the outcome benefited you both.

Are we with the same man?

She had a meltdown? Yikes. At least that is confirmation that what she had been doing did not come from a bad place, just out of ignorance. I sense that like my co-worker, she was using your ethnic background and nationality as an ice breaker/conversation starter, and that you are/were the "diverse" person in her…

You should go with a bee theme for your shower! Let me tell you why:

As a mixed-race woman from Hawaii now living in white dominant-city, these kinds of questions are the story of my life. But as I've gotten older, I've come to the following conclusions:

Why so? I'm just curious.

Men really do need us more than we need them.

Haha! I had to look to, because I have never heard of it either.

Especially when most of your family and friends are heavy drinkers. As well as the groom's. Another reason why I don't want to have a wedding. In my case, the damn liquor bill would be higher than the cost of the venue or accomodations.

After being a maid of honor for my childhood friend, attending several showers and weddings over the years, I got the impression that aside from being stupidly expensive, planning a wedding is extremely stressful and can turn the most level-headed person into a neurotic mess.

Is this a normal reaction to have after losing a lot of weight? That you're suddenly superior and better than everyone else — and feel the need to preach about it?

She cares so much about how everyone else looks because this is really all about her.

Liberals stop after LA. Orange County is full of right-wingers. I'm in San Diego and it's way conservative. The further you get from the coastline here, it feels like Rush Limbaugh-meets-Breaking Bad, with a dash of Texas.

There are many, many reasons why someone could be overweight or obese, aside from medical issues (including an underlying condition someone does not even know that they have), to genetics and a lack of sleep. Then of course, there's the intertwining problems of mass-produced foods and politics, subsidized farming and…

WOW. Now I get it. My heart goes out to you. That better be a BIG flask you are bringing. And good luck in finding a way to excuse yourself out of dinner next year!

Oh dear. Is politics something that ALWAYS comes up during the dinner, or is it just bits and pieces of silly rants, say when someone is too drunk or when the TV is on Fox News (as I assume it would be)? How easy is it for you to ignore it, is what I'm curious about.

The best Thanksgiving I've EVER had is when my brother and his family boycotted the holiday and went to Disneyland 2 years ago. No one wanted to deal with cooking or our crazy extended family that year, so we spent that day at the park.