My cat killed a rabbit and brought it home to me. He must've just got it because when he set it down it twitched a little and blood pumped weakly out of two perfect tiny holes in it's neck. I was so proud of him. He'd been an inside cat for ten years of his life, and for the instincts to kick in and him pull down a…

When my dad was in high school, for some reason a teacher started talking about Catholic Cardinals in class. A public school, and a math class I think, totally unrelated to the topic. Dad thought this was bullshit, raised his hand and told her she forget the greatest Cardinal of all, Stan Musial.

Here's a few.

Once found myself up late tripping on dextromethorphan, fascinated by NCAA Women's Bowling. Which who even knew was televised?

DAT CAT NAME

it's a sort of conceptual (non-alphabetical) palindrome

Well that explains everything! It's C-Lo who has been making Cee-Lo look bad!

In former Soviet Russia, shrimp...um, shrimp...that shrimp is so fucking big there has to be a Yakoff joke in there somewhere.

This is totally unfair to C-Lo. C-Lo Green's comments were placed out of context and misrepresented by C-Lo Green.

Narrowly speaking, you're an idiot.

Oh God, I lol'd.

I never thought of ISIS as my kinda people but picturing Phil Robertson and Sean Hannity in the same building is making me think about blowing it up.

His "Fuck Everything" is genius, too.

10 points would be a very special snowflake.

Inuits think I'm Richard Attenborough. But that never helped me get laid, even on my vacation in Greenland. (Goddamn Vikings.)

I have a cow cat, he's a klutz. They're the goofiest cats.

According to a friend...

This is mostly a list of people that annoy Bill Bradley