It’s like the CSI and Law & Order franchises. These cops deal with the worst of humanity - child molesters, rapists, torture-murderers - but reserve their most vitriolic disdain for the guy who says something racist while being questioned.

Sometimes it can’t be avoided - you’re on vacation or something, there’s nothing else around, you have kids that need to eat. First off, you ASK if you can be served, you don’t demand it. And you do stuff fast - order, eat, GTFO. I’ve asked the servers “Whatever you can whip up the fastest”. Be nice. Tip extra.

My Mother in Law is 74 and starting to lose it. We took her to the supermarket this weekend and she just has no idea that there are other people in the store who might like to walk down the aisles. She stops in the middle wherever she is, leaves the cart sideways and stands obliviously staring at stuff. I spent an…

My daughter had a friend in grade school that would only eat pizza from one pizzeria near us, and she would scrape off the sauce and cheese and just eat the dough (but not the crusts). She “ate” half a pie like this and my head damn near exploded because I didn’t have enough to eat.

For years whenever we went out to eat with my wife’s sister’s family it had to be some awful generic chain (we refused to do fast food) because my nephew would eat nothing but chicken nuggets and fries until about age 14. Meanwhile my daughter, 2 years older, was eating literally anything you put in front of her -…

Back when I used to buy the paper every day at a newsstand I would use pennies. Not 50 of them, but maybe 5, sometimes 10. Was a nice way to get rid of change. 75% of the time I would get a look of disgust like I just put a warm turd on the counter. Now they go into a giant novelty Budweiser bottle bank that will…

You should have stayed. The ceremony was salving. I was there and furious at the outcome, but by the end of the celebration I was so overwhelmed to basically see my entire childhood parade before me in my favorite place on earth I was hiding tears from my wife and kid.

June 16 1977. I was 10 years old. I sat down for breakfast and my mom showed me the paper. I thought I would die.

The thing that killed me about the Beltran AB wasn’t that last, unhittable pitch. It’s that he was facing an unnerved rookie who had just completely lost the strike zone and absolutely HAD to start off with a strike. And Carlos just stood there and let a batting practice fastball float by for strike one. The best,…

“They didn’t even get the Scarlet Witches powers close to right.”

Sins Past was the worst comic book story ever. It might actually be the single worst piece of fiction of any genre ever written. I still get angry thinking about it.

Sooner or later players are gonna have to get past their arrogance and start bunting against the shift. I think guys feel like that’s cheap and beneath them. Or maybe they just figure a couple of bunt singles won’t do as much for their next contract as a couple of home runs.

Revenge for ‘84.

In case there was any doubt, he also clearly states “I love you” to TC.

My father-in-law will watch Pawn Stars for as long as they show it. Even repeats. I can’t take it. They don’t know what anything is worth, the prices all seem made up, and I wonder what the store is really like. Shit, you wanna know what something is worth? Go on ebay and search ‘completed auctions’.

I almost never watch ESPN and particularly avoid this guy, but caught a little commentary this weekend. What the hell is going on atop Berman’s head these days? He’s got what looks like a thin pad of brillo on the crown, and it extends down into a bizarre foam pad mullet. It was weirder than Trump’s ‘do.

I worked for an old Jewish guy, and one Monday he was telling me about his basement renovation, griping how much he had to pay the guy to pull up his old carpet. I asked why he didn’t do it himself and he said “My people don’t do things like that... we hire your (Italian) people.” I didn’t know if I was supposed to be…

Old guys have precious few joys in life. The tallywacker doesn’t work like it used to, and the wife looks like George C. Scott in Patton anyway. Doc says they can’t eat anything fatty/salty/sweet/spicy/tasty, should switch to decaf, and need to cut back on the booze - and don’t forget that test on Tuesday!. Most of…

Fantasy Player Who Deserves To Die A Slow, Painful Death

If that old friend stabbed me near to death while betraying my de facto son, I’d buy her ice cream, not hit her.