When the Mets do well it sends Yankee fans into paroxysms of rage and misery. That is all the reason anyone needs to root for the Mets, in these playoffs and anywhere anytime.

“Downtrodden”? You won like 5 division titles in a row recently! GTFOOH.

“Smelly bear grease”???

Curtis is also the only player I have seen in decades of attending games that acknowledges fans during play. Kids (and dopey adults) call out to him in RF, and he waves to every one of them (after the pitch, obviously). He seems like a really great guy.

You and crino are the true heroes among Met fans. I saw the Mets win one WS in person, and have fleeting, flashes of recollections of their other one. They haven’t exactly done much to earn your loyalty, so good on you!

You loathsome promoter of the patriarchy. True Progress will be when football is banned altogether - it’s a disgusting display of misogyny that glorifies the exploits of males while totally minimizing the contributions of women and the differently abled. Cheering for a touchdown is literally spitting in the face of…

“Sun Devil” is offensive both to worshipers of alternate deities as well as people with protoporphyria. That name makes me feel neither safe nor accepted. I demand a change now.

Halloween was the best day of the year for a kid in the 70s. As soon as you were in like 2nd Grade you were allowed to trick-or-treat unsupervised. The sheer excitement and fear of the unknown knocking on strangers’ doors made for hours of fun. Then when you got older, like 5th grade, you had to worry about the older…

Not to mention... a 24-hour gas staion/party store with a fried chicken/pizza place inside of it? What?

How hot is this soup that someone picked it up, took it home, called and complained, went back to the store, then threw it at the clerk and it still burned Po?

You are onto something with Peak Fantasy. Remember about 10 years ago when everyone in America except me was playing Texas Hold ‘em? That shit was everywhere - on several TV channels, celebs were all over it, everybody was playing weekly with their friends, coworkers would regale you with stories about the flop and…

Whenever I watch live sports, I switch to the Velocity channel, then back to my game. So then come commercial break I hit the ~Last~ button on my remote and watch some meathead work on a Camaro, or an auctioneer sell one. Oft times it’s more interesting than the football game and I don’t return.

What is it about bear visits that brings out the grating in people? Those little girls screeching about their swimmies in the backyard bear pool party video might have been worse.

Your family secretly hates you. They send you cards on your birthday, sure, but they are so disappointed in your life choices.

Anyone over the Yankees. Kim Davis’ family softball team. The cast of The View. Fucking Isis. Anything is preferable to their awful fans being happy.

We were the calmest, least demanding couple for our wedding, with one exception. I told the band that if they played the chicken dance they should not expect to be paid. They laughed until they saw I was serious, then pleaded that “everyone loves it!” I reiterated that I would not pay them. I capitulated on “Hot Hot…

Hair dryer (on Cold setting) to the nether regions is a great finish. It also cracks my wife up every time she sees it.

People who DON’T do that are the crazy ones.

Somebody on another story comment said that if you have one of them fancy surround-sound systems, the center channel carries all the broadcasters; so if you turn it off/unplug it/whatever you get nothing but field sounds and crowd noise. It’s almost making my consider that investment.

It actually said Bread Soda on the label. As best I can guess it was supposed to be pumpernickel-flavored.