My wife and daughter have refused to eat pork of any kind since they saw the video of that asshole in the plant kicking pigs, and of them generally being mistreated. I wish I had the willpower to join them (they also refuse beef on same grounds; daughter eschews chicken as well but the wife agrees with me that…

Bread Soda is the name of a restaurant? I bought a bottle of Bread Soda in a Key Food in a Russian/Eastern European neighborhood in Brooklyn once. Served it to the family as a lark on Thanksgiving. It was comically awful.

I’m not 100% sure where I stand on the whole trans bathroom issue, but I think all smart-thinking people can agree that swimming is no more a sport than are bicycle riding or tubing down a river. They are children’s recreations. Topics for a 5th grade “Things I did this summer”, not olympic-worthy endeavors.

Judging by your ID I’m guessing you saw Angel’s performance last night. For those who didn’t - Terry Collins confronted the home plate ump amidst a mild brouhaha over a quick pitch. Hernandez dashed in from 1B for no reason at all and started yelling at everyone. “Look at me! I’m here!”. What a tool.

MLB had the opportunity to crush the umpires union a few years ago and only bring back the decent umps, and they chickened out for some ridiculous reason. Now Joe West and Angel Hernandez still have jobs.

So upon boarding a fairly underbooked flight, I should put a heavy coat on my lap for two hours just on the odd chance the flight attendant is rude, lazy and bad at her job? Did you need even read my post?

Shortly after having our daughter we moved 8 minutes from my parents. I have literally never spent a penny on babysitting. Three months after birthday we were doing overnights in Manhattan and Atlantic City. Best move ever.

I don’t say anything when someone sneezes. Do you comment or issue blessings after a cough? Then why for a sneeze?

Pasta salad is a side dish, not an entree. It’s fine between your second and third burger at the cookout. At least it’s better than actual salad.

Baseball has layer upon layer of strategy and planning. People who don’t like it just aren’t bright enough to appreciate it. That’s fine, there are sports for them:

Your husband is nuts. He bailed on the responsibility of his new child to go to a funeral?! What’s more important - helping your exhausted wife and taking care of a newborn infant, or staring at a corpse? Standing around with distant family members saying “She looks so natural”, “It’s for the best, she was suffering…

My familiarity with Macklemore was that there is a performer named Macklemore; recently (via this site!) I learned that Macklemore is A). a person, not a group and B). he is apparently a rapper of little renown.

“the average NFL game (which takes 3-3.5 hours) has ELEVEN minutes of actual action.”

He will always be a hero for telling the municipal unions to go fuck themselves.

I told my daughter from the very beginning of school that if she ever REALLY has to go and the teacher won’t let her, she has my permission to ignore the teacher and walk right out. Getting detention (which I will have dismissed) beats pissing yourself in front of a classroom full of assholes who will never let you…

High school buddies have an annual fishing trip to the beach nearby. It’s essentially a 12+ hour overnight drinking marathon that generally results in hilarity, liver damage, and a 2-day hangover.

Nah, forget the hat. As my Dad said to me when I was 12 and excited about my Little League hat and wanted to wear it out to dinner, “If you’re not playing baseball and you’re wearing a baseball hat, you look like you’re on an outing from the retard home.” (That was a long time ago when people still said shit like…

Berman has been doing this shit for decades and still can’t control his breathing. I hope he passes out from lack of oxygen while yelling an inanity some day and dashes his head apart on the desk.

I know that making fun of anything even peripherally related to gay is an offense worthy of public flogging, excommunication from society, and being forced to listen to Kanye West, but: isn’t the Randy Moss one even more offensive? Ha ha ha, that guy is a loser because he’s short! The Eli and Romo ones where being…

In addition to stealing two of Tom’s SB Rings, Eli’s wife is better-looking.