Fair enough. I can’t lie, the BYOB joint we went to for about 16 hours over two days in Bethlehem PA was some of the most fun I’ve had in years. But it was cheap, the girls were happy with handfuls of singles and otherwise either were drunk or gave no fucks about anything, and everyone was friendly. I laughed so much…

Typo... initially typed box of Cheezits, remembered they were Cheetos but forgot to change box to bag. Kinja wouldn’t give with the edit.

She was chubby, no worse than 50% of Jersey strip talent. But the sight of her sitting on the stage chomping down Cheetos was so absurd we couldn’t help ourselves.

Nah, typo. I initially typed box of Cheez-its, remembered they were actually Cheetos and forgot to change box to bag, then Kinja wouldn’t let me edit.

One night in my mid-teens I was having a pleasant dream where I was peeing in a urinal and then there was a loud noise. That turned out to be my irate parents waking me up while I was peeing into the hallway linen closet.

Most stalls have a coathook. Just make sure your kid is wearing pants with belt loops.

Can we all just stop mythologizing and agree that strip clubs are terrible? They’re awkward as hell, they’re an overpriced waste of money, they finance and support organized crime, and are demeaning. If I want to look at naked ladies I can do it in the privacy of my own home where I will not catch a beating from a…

I keep buying these and my wife keeps throwing them out. They give her the willies ever since she saw me slice off a nice hunk of hand once. I have to hide them, then I forget where I put them, so I give up.

We live in an era where many (I daresay most) young people are flummoxed at the notion of changing a tire or their own oil. I don’t know how many are mechanically inclined enough to figure this stuff out. But I guess if it were the only option, they would develop skills.

Meaning the old JUGGZ you hid under the mattress when the Feds came around, or the thumb drive you hid in a cavity they didn’t want to search.

With today’s technology people can make their own porn, or share clandestine legacy porn. Or do like us kids in the 70s and use the Macy’s underwear ads or particularly racy episodes of The Love Boat and Charlie’s Angels.

Ummm, no.

It’s literally noogies, like a guy would give to his kid brother. Not exactly the ass-whoopin’ people make it out to be. The legend is better than the reality. And Ryan actually deserved a beating - that stuff never belonged in the game.

Or because he’s Michael Jordan. 10 years from now MJ is still a billionaire and still the GOAT. And that kid is annoying his coworkers at Taco Bell: “Yo, I ever tell you the time I yelled at Michael Jordan?” “Yes, many times. Now go clean the men’s room and put out more straws and napkins.”

I have no opinion here, but a question: why did all manufacturers stop making the toaster-ovens that mounted to the bottom of kitchen cabinets? So convenient. Fortunately I got two as wedding shower gifts 22 years ago, but the second one is somewhere in the vicinity of 10 years of service and I despair of finding…

I have no opinion here, but a question: why did all manufacturers stop making the toaster-ovens that mounted to the…

Ed Ott body-slamming Felix Millan and sadly, pretty much wrecking Millan’s career. This is the only picture I could find, and it doesn’t do it justice at all - Ott was double Felix’s weight and he picked him up almost over his head and dropped him.

since my coffee house was in the middle of a Christian suburb, it was always very busy, especially on Fridays.

I stopped giving a shit about the Giants immediately after they cut Phil Simms to make room for the great Dave Brown. I watch them dispassionately and (very) casually root for them if they make it into the playoffs. I can’t recommend this mode of fandom enough: if they win - hooray; if they lose - whatever. Super Bowl…

Giants fans are as boring as their team. A bunch of old farts listening to the game on the radio, doing the NY Times crossword puzzle, and eating the bagels and tuna salad sandwiches they carried in, and occasionally looking up at the game, most likely to determine when in the third quarter they should leave to beat…

The stadium thing still infuriates me. The Wilpons made their fortune in real estate development, yet couldn’t get their labor costs low enough to afford a retractable dome. A dome which would have ensured pleasant weather for all games (I am done buying partial ticket plans and sitting in cold rain for half the…