There has got to be some kind of balance with this. I'm all for standing up when the band comes on, staying standing for a couple songs, jumping up every now and then when you're all fired up (what, you're gonna sit through Eruption?), dancing. But really, what is the point when people are just standing stock-still…

Nothing wrong with wearing a jersey to the game. Particularly when you get one custom-made with a random favorite player from your childhood. One of mine has gotten me on TV, commented on by the announcers on several occasions

I met a guy who left Game 6 of the 86 World Series early because he couldn't bear to see the Mets lose and figured he would beat the traffic. It haunts him.

Yeah... I've been going to games for 40 years and have never got a ball. I couldn't give a shit if the MDA poster child is sitting next to me, I'm keeping the first ball I ever catch.

Baseball, too. There are lots of breaks. You don't have to get ice cream when Harvey has two strikes on Harper.

I'm a Mets fan who loves going to away games, and being quiet and enjoying the game, not being That Guy putting on a show and yelling at everyone. Not that there's been much to yell about recently.

I went to the only Jeep dealership near me many years ago, fully intent on buying a Wrangler. After being ignored awhile because I was a young guy in a Zeppelin t-shirt, a bored salestool came over and wanted no part of selling me what I wanted: a totally stripped Jeep with the biggest motor available at the time. …

I had this friend in high school. Total slob, always wore sweats and ill-fitting t-shirts, bad haircut, a total trainwreck. His dad was an insanely wealthy lawyer, told him "go pick out a new car for your graduation present". I drove him in my beat-up Duster to the Porsche dealership where we were ignored for a…

Even better is to make the minimal effort of putting the car on Craigslist yourself and not handing a dealer a couple thousand dollars extra for no reason.

will a few squares suffice?

how do you know your ass is clean?

I wore my HS ring the weekend after I got it, and then it went into a drawer for eternity. I tried to convince my daughter it was a waste, but she begged and my wife caved. Later she admitted the only reason she wanted a ring was because she got a day out of school for some hokey ring ceremony. I paid $350 so my…

When I was a freshman I bought the football team windbreaker (it was the 80s) and the non-varsity wool jacket, both personalized with name on breast, number and position on sleeves.

I'm 48 and can still sleep anywhere without repercussions: floor, old sofabed, tortillas, hard tacos. But the kneeling - what the hell? 20 seconds to drive a nail or something, and it's agony.

There are no "gritty" areas left in Manhattan. Hell's Kitchen is full of European tourists and people walking expensive dogs. The Lower East Side is all bistros and galleries. Times Square is an amusement park and light show.

You are correct, but here's a question: why would a super-secretive organization seeking world domination brand their weapons? Does anyone? I mean, are there US Flag logos on the M-16s we give to Marines?

Dafuq is a married millionaire doing at a club at 4 AM?

This is why we need to do a lot of killing, on all involved. The poachers' families - this way, no more hungry children! Their villages. And as much of the supply chain as we can find.

All usual comment kidding aside: can't some filthy rich fucker put a bigger price on these poachers' heads? Kill them all, kill their families, eliminate their villages. Find the end users of rhino horn and kill them, too. Enough already.

He's an oddball, in that he does the job at least in part because he is helping people, keeping criminals off the streets away from old ladies, that sort of thing.