That would be New York, Land of Legislation.

I tried to be healthy-minded and gave turkey bacon a chance. It tasted like salt and sadness. Basically, Meat Tears.

I don't need more proof to bolster my belief. I just want to read more cool stories!

They're all different. Some have mileage limits, some don't seem to care, one only insured you if you had a less-than-ten-year-old car registered for every licensed driver in the household, because otherwise you might be tempted to use it for daily purposes should yours break down.

Crispy bacon? Why not save yourself the hassle, and just chew a canister of Bacon Bits?

I plan on retiring someplace warm, living off the spread between my NYC home sale and the FL dirtwater home I buy, plus various retirement funds and such. I'll take a job for incidentals and beer money, and am almost looking forward to the series of customer-service-type jobs that I won't care enough about to take…

Yeah, I bet it's only a matter of time before they set up some software that automatically generates and mails tickets for every one of these infractions. Though a lot of these cars probably can't be traced to an address. Lot of illegal immigrants driving a hoopty with North Carolina plates they found. Cops can…

My buddy does this for a living, for the NYPD. He says he actually has to turn it off sometimes in the poorer areas because the buzzer literally goes off for every second car. He doesn't even bother with expired stuff, he's looking for warrants and stolen vehicles.

In New York City, that tinted plate cover will get you pulled over within 2 days. Might interfere with the various ticket cameras our nanny police-state liberals have installed everywhere.

If you're gonna drive buzzed (I know, DON'T), light up a cigar for the ride home. You will not have beer breath, you have a reason for red eyes and an open window... heck - a cop might even start talking to you about cigars.

I drive an old car with classic insurance on it. I get an email from them annually and pay like $120 for the year on my credit card. Except the time GMail sent the damn email into my spam filter and next thing I know I get a registered letter from the Gummint advising me that I was driving an uninsured vehicle, my…

Perhaps not “perennial”.

I get that it's history and people want to see it and say they were there. I mean, I went to Gettysburg and more people died there.

I've never been to the memorial. I usually assume the worst in others and I really think a lot of people are there going "Woo! Lookit the smashed fire truck!". And there's a gift shop, and they have charity cocktail parties, and it's all a bit much for me. I had to walk by the site daily to get to work for a long…

I am going to go out on a limb and guess you're not in New York, or DC. It's a little different here, and definitely not holiday-like. I honestly don't know anyone who has "events", or parties or whatever.

This is one of the best parts of the Gospels, for the sheer weirdness among other things. Jesus appears to his apostles who don't recognize him, then don't believe it's him. They make him do tricks and show off his wounds to prove himself. One of the Gospel writers then relates a couple of Jesus' fun-filled…

I roasted some broccoli in it last night. It imparted some weird flavors besides the salt and pepper. So yeah, it's time.

It is true. I worked in a dept with a female boss and she and four women had a whole kaffee klatch thing going on, they hung out together on weekends, the boss gave them more “excused” days off and let them leave early. I didn’t care because for whatever reason she loved me and never hassled me about anything, but the…

To be fair, when I was right out of college a recruiter told me the same thing (and I’m a guy). Don’t come off as too confident because it borders on cockiness. Take a couple of seconds to look like you are thinking about an answer even if you aren’t. It’s all BS.

My daughter landed a fairly prestigious internship slot at a local research institute doing some kind of neurological experiments. Every damn day the asshole scientists walked right past her to talk to the boys. One fucking imbecile actually said to her in his shithead third-world broken
english “Why you do science?…