Well, it certainly won't be arms posession.

I'm impressed that this kid was able to not only get back on the team, but win the starting position as well. You'd think of it as inevitable in hindsight, but it's interesting to think about how Johnny Football was nearly just lame old Johnny Bench.

The defense would just like to point out that, seconds after this photo was taken, Mr. Hernandez ended the call in his usual manner by slamming it repeatedly against the metal barrier.

I'm shocked that anyone in Aquasox was able to snare some pussy.

This libtardization of America is just getting too much for me to handle. This guy gets a standing ovation for telling players he's gay, but when I tell the local high school's girl's soccer team that I am very, very straight, I get a restraining order.

"Guys, I have something to admit to you: I'm trying to quit smoking."

This is sort of a half-truth that you're helping to perpetuate. It's really a "Sprawling Bedroom Community" Hall that Glendale wants to sell.

Not the first to be stranded in the desert after paying off Coyotes.

While it's nice to see Deadspin meeting their quota for vaguely ethnic employees, I'm not sure hiring somebody with facial psoriasis counts, Mr. Hutchins.

Seems like an awful lot of work just to end up with a bowl-legged baby.

ʟeᴅron ᴊames, everyᴅoɑy:

Well, this is definitely the more likable couple that Westbrook helped get a ring this June.

"He was in a wheelchair and couldn't hear, but he was at all of them."

Take me out to the ballgame

A criminal trial in the not-too-distant future....

The Concrete Below The Meadowlands Today Was Spectacularly Haunting

*golf clap*

The Decision (Die Maßnahme), also known as The Measures Taken, is a Lehrstück by the twentieth-century German dramatist Bertolt Brecht. Written in collaboration with Slatan Dudow and the composer Hanns Eisler, it consists of eight sections in prose and unrhymed, irregular verse, with six major songs. A note to the…

you win the only funny conment in a series of ill advised comments award.

Sure, you can see the balls, but what you can't see is the degeneration of the upper and lower motor neurons in the head.