Floyd Mayweather is a different kind of boxing animal. He’s the only professional boxer who’ve I’ve ever seen make another professional boxer cry during the fight because he couldn’t hit him. CM is nice at MMA, but he’s nowhere near the caliber of FM when it comes to boxing.

What every gender reveal party really needs is a good guy with a gun.

A lot of fast food places time the service. If your times go up on average, management can come down on the store, the managers, and the employees. No raises, staff cuts, etc.

3) I thought the potato is there so you don’t stab your neck with an unsterilized needle (instead of just your earlobe).  

Or, he might be a selfish asshole with zero concern for the people of his state, who paid for those sweet perks.

Welp. There goes the “one day we’ll go to Hawaii” plan.

Um, I think “Becky” is a representation of all the women he’s cheated with, not just one.

Now what will I have going in the background while I knit? Someone give me suggestions.

My mom and I would frequently say to each other “how did your father die at 62 and Dick Cheney still lives?”

Yeah, I get the whole “Money talks, wealth whispers” but in hindsight, it sure seemed like he treated Carrie like a cheap side piece.

White wine is the drink of choice for a huge number of middle-class women with addiction. It’s a misconception that you have to be downing vodka to develop alcohol addiction.

Can’t tell you how much I hate the wink-wink “mom’s juice” promotion of wine drinking! I know too many women (“moms” and non-moms) who have developed alcohol problems in middle age. I don’t care how successful you are or if you have kids, if you are daytime drinking in your living room or drinking daily at night to…

That scene is truly genius.

Lena Dunham is what happens if an actress says these things.

“Half of them just jumped on the bandwagon” ok, dipshit. By this logic wouldn’t that mean he raped the other half?

To be fair, it’s his creditors’ course.

“Owens has 23 previous convictions and is now facing counts of second-degree kidnapping and robbery with a dangerous weapon”

I mean...I can’t say that I didn’t laugh at this headline. BUT, I’m so glad the family was able to get away from this maniac without harm or incident.

I blame Tesla for calling something “Autopilot” when it is in fact, just adaptive cruise control that keeps you centered in the selected lane.

RIGHT? Uh, I’m not offended by what she said. It was actually a great comparison. It’s obvious she knows someone, or more than one someone, with such limitations. Don’t be offended on my behalf random concern troller, thanks.