i found out my wife cheated after 10 yrs, we separated for a year, filed for divorce, worked out our PSA and filed for the court date, then we decided to get back together, been hapily back together for over a year.

So basically you’re thinking about cheating and have thus had a rethink about it being black and white.

I am seeing a lot of people saying this is naïve, but as someone who is older, has a lot of experience in life, has gone through it and has seen others go through it...this is the best advice. I have never seen a relationship go through this and not come badly on the other side. There is a reason the other person…

i think, assuming the person isn’t a serial cheater, it’s a cry for help within the context of a relationship. people who are happy with the direction their relationship is going and who have open lines of communication don’t cheat... it’s the nuclear option, it either signals that the relationship is over or that…

Here’s the opinion of a person who’s been married & divorced (not due to cheating, about to marry again), & doesn’t have kids, but is old enough to be a mother to an adult offspring:

I agree with this. Following a bad experience, I found Chumplady.com, and my suspicions, (that cheating is a form of emotional abuse), were confirmed.

Nah. People can be understanding and forgiving, and also be adult enough to control themselves. If people are done with monogamy, then talk about it, and be done with monogamy. Lies and betrayal are not the same thing as openly, honestly, changing the terms of an agreed up arrangement.

People get involved with others - including married or involved men - for a myriad of reasons and assuming the other woman did it to “prove she is hotter than you” is not only dumb, it’s just hurting yourself and falling into the trap I warned about - letting him off the hook by making this about you and her and not…

Not everyone is monogamous. Some folks are. Its possible to find a faithful person because it’s not hard for some people. I really only want to bang my partner. Its good stuff. I’m hooked.

“there’s a big difference between getting caught up in a moment and having a months-long affair”

I completely disagree. You can’t ‘accidentally’ cheat. It’s a conscious decision not only to act on your feelings, but to allow yourself to feel the feelings. A faithful partner who starts feeling inappropriate feelings for…

People routinely say that women “feed off of drama” or love drama or try to create it. It’s a blame tactic and it’s condescending.

Seriously, one comment after another about how old the woman looks and how it must be because of the rough living. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills with some of the comments.

I heard you alright. It's just very, very weird on non-YouTube sites to comment on the hard-living looks of a sexual assault victim.

Wtf is with you guys, are you casting models for a runway show? Where does this nastiness towards a victim’s looks come from?

She looks like she’s had a rough living to you? You may not think so, but that’s a harsh thing to say.

What's with the insultbrag.

Forget tatami, walking inside at all with shoes on is disgusting. I don’t want all that crap outside tracked all over my nice floors.

I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.* I couldn’t help but run into the comments the second I saw that editor’s note. I will work on my impulse control.**

Yeah but if I get a parasite or tape worm and drink laxative tea I can eat all I want and live the best life. And I don't look clammy, that's called a glow.