John Goodman is a national treasure.

Then you haven’t read my fanfic.

John Goodman is a lot more flexible than I’d expected he’d be.

If you make Mandy Patinkin cry, that means you made it in this world.  

I’d tell you what I’d be moving up from the store brand mustard.

Damn, judgemental much? I don’t know if you think you’re helping but condescending bullshit like this is unwelcome and unhelpful. Get help with your ass hat reactions. Get help soon. Seriously.

No amount of tic tacs would be able to counter the effects of Hormel Hard Salami burps. Also fuck those guys for using the worst Late July Chips. Green Mojo all the way

We don’t miss you

“We would never tell mom implicitly when to start,” he said.

Bobby, you really made the most of what you had to work with, so this is not a reflection on you.

I love him so much.

What a bummer for that dude who has to watch his kids. This is on par with parents who say they are “babysitting”.

The most ironic part is women I know are never off. They run our worlds, save our parents, kids and every other relationship that counts.

At first I was like:

my office today:

Bobby, I love you.

Jezebel has become very meaningful to me, so all my love and support to the writers striking. This is the only place I can stomach reading politics now, and the commenters here are gold. Life would be shit without the women writers of Jezebel. ❤🌸

Adrianne, Eva, Naima, Caridee, Nyle, Jaslene, Danielle, Yoanna, um, Lisa. Nicole!