I think I used too many big words and correct grammar. Bad trolling.

I love that you said 5'8 was medium sized because I really could use a confidence boost today

Tom Benson: new phone who dat?

Don’t jump off a dam. Vote for someone who will have her thrown from one.

It’s also a neat monetary fact that, if you start with a penny and double it every day for an entire month, at the end of the month Sarah Huckabee Sanders will still be a total asshole.

I’m never going to get used to that logo/uniform. Or the team name. Everything about this team seems like it belongs in a big-budget movie about professional hockey that wasn’t able to get an NHL licensing agreement.

Based on that breakdown, I would say it’s the fucking boomers that are the issue. Like always.

I don’t think you can really give Elway credit for trying to shoot himself in the dick but only hitting his foot.

Ezekihell.

More people can dunk.

Fathers be good to your ballers

Third take:

My idiot friends and I wouldn’t have made it through an hour of this before going double agent on each other and driving away while the dunk dude is left alone in the driveway. We were sort of dicks. Also, none of us could dunk.

The good news- only one of the pair was harmed. The other lympian was unscathed.

Leave it to the Knicks to always take the Hardaway.

Don’t read anything into this, but Collins surprisingly is 16th all time in passing yards...somehow slotting between Joe Montana and Dan Fouts. He somehow managed to stay in the league long enough to get to that point despite a passer rating in the low 70s and just slightly above a 1:1 TD:INT ratio.

Most of it non-guaranteed, but... yeah. He was basically Kirk Cousins Beta Version.

Counterpoint: Hanson, Jonas Brothers, Good Charlotte..

I think it’s unfair to the readers to mention the Deadspin Slack without actually posting screenshots of the conversations

Dammit Dom, now I have to go read the whole article!