Dear Nintendo,

Zombie U. But that wasn’t Nintendo. Still ...

The Wii U was an excellent console with a great game library. I’m now playing Breath of the Wild on it. The Wii U was what the Wii wasn’t and what the Switch won’t be: An incredible machine for Nintendo games. The last Nintendo console I loved as much was the GameCube.

Being that I couldn’t stop thinking “Animal Crossing for adults who think Animal Crossing is too much for kids” your entire review, it would fit the console.

It’s a gargantuan rip-off. 900p for Zelda? Really?!? And you get a bunch of slow-down with that? As this console isn’t close to as powerful as vanilla PS4 and Xbone, asking anything above $199 is practically criminal. But oh well, a fool and his money ...

That sucks Leaving 3/2/17 is leaving on 3/1/17. It’s one of my favorite movies. Probably tied with 11/22/63.

You know what be even better than a “racing game with F-Zero vibes”? A new F-Zero. YOU HEARING ME, NINTENDO?!?

Gamers, take this seriously. I’ve never gamed longer than 8 hours at a time, but I’ve been a gamer for a long time (35+ years). Now, here I am in my early 40s and I was just diagnosed, this week, with Aortic Stenosis and left ventricular ejection fraction of only 60%. My Cardiologist knows I was (and still sometimes…

I will answer: It’s Leonardo DiCaprio. They won’t say because they want to avoid any possible “likeness” related lawsuits.

If anyone, anyone, anyone is really wealthy here and just wants to do that thing wealthy people do sometimes, just because they can, and buy me one of these, I will be eternally grateful. I can’t even imagine something I’d want more. Riding Big Wheels and talking Star Wars WAS my childhood. I want it back.

I enjoy sex.

Speaking of GAF; is it normal to have registered there over four years ago and to still not be a member? It shows I’m registered, but don’t have posting privileges. I have never once posted on the site under ANY user name, so this just seems odd. I did email GAF about it after waiting 18 or 19 months, but heard…

I read all your words as though Bender were speaking them.

As someone who did a world tour of big box stores every day for 5 months before getting the Wii, I definitely “care” enough. But at this point, if Nintendo doesn’t want to sell me their shit, they can fuck off. I’ll stick with Sony, Microsoft and Steam -- none of them make me jump through hoops to access their product.

Your memory is flawed regarding NES CLASSIC. The majority was OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE. Articles AND commenters. There’s an article on Polygon showing the history and reaction and talking about how Nintendo is either shady or idiotic making so few.

Thanks. I’ll give that a try. Did that for Wii and Wii U though (Circuit City for Wii, Best Buy for Wii U) and didn’t get either one at launch.

Could you get me one, then (either the classic or the switch)? Last one I was able to get at launch was the GameCube and that was only after waiting in line for 9 hours and I got the second to last one.

Yes, it did. Absolutely, 100% fact. The game was impossible to get at Christmas and 60 Minutes did an expose on it, showing Nintendo had TONS of them. Once busted, Nintendo claimed they were having problems shipping the game. They’ve been running this con for a long time.

Not like anyone will be able to get one. I’m still waiting on the NES Classic. Nintendo has been pulling this shit since Super Mario Bros. 3, which they claimed they couldn’t make enough of, until 60 Minutes busted them and showed a wherehouse where, from floor to ceiling, sat thousands of copies of the game. This is…

Of course they’re almost all Papa John’s and Pizza Hut. Two worst chains ever (honorable mention to Domino’s). Pizza Hut’s fake cheese looks disgusting as ever, all bubbly. Looks more like someone blew their nose (or load) than melted cheese. Ew.